'You'll Change Inside When You Realize'

Wednesday, December 16^th 2009 . 12pm

« It's Time. It's Today. It's now. Let's go. »

Thats my first tweet of the day.

Yes ! My countdown is finished. Im sit on a bed at the hospital since 8am this morning. Hard day in fact. Cold and sad for me. Im hungry and thirsty currently and I wanna sleep. My weakness is truly important. I wanna thanks all the person who didnt forget me today and send me some messages and tweets. Thank you for all your prayers for today. I'm not sure to deserve 'em but im really moved. Seriously you're the best with me. Thank You. Today I saw the person who're important for me 'cause they don't forget me.

Saturday, December 19^th 2009

Currently I'm still waiting my results ... I don't know the answer, the verdict.

Yesterday night, I tweeting with two friends about a french girl who lies to many peoples ... I can't believe it ! How can she lies like that ? And why ? She just wanna met 'em... And these guys believe that she does everything just for us ... Okay that's not my main subject of the day. Last weekend I performed on stage with the Adventys haha awesome ! The some guys who was there loves Our new song :) that's amazing I'm so glad ! When I'm on stage and when I play music I can't explain why but I've the feeling to be better and stronger ! But btw after the last Adventys' gig I was so tired and weak =( this week I've more palpitations like the other latest weeks, I don't know why ... But I hate this feeling when I've my palpitations, I've the impression that my blood is into my body, my mind and get out of my heart.

My hear..., this heart who's feels so alone since one year ... I thought I found the thing to be better during many many years but finally just during some months but thanks my lost friend for these months ... this weekend was the first of my first holidays without you... I feel truly alone here at home. My car's expedition are not the same without you. The last time I saw you ? Last weekend. Before the Adventys' gig. Not after. Why ? 'Cause you was already far away into the city ... Far away from me like you erase me of your heart. I know you hate the person who you are. You think that you don't have a heart but I know it exist 'cause I lived with you during these funny and awesome months. I know you. Finally ... Its what I thought ... I'm still angry against you. But really not finally. 'Cause one day I said you: "I'll be always there for you." Future isn't behind me ... But please never forget:

'You'll Change
Inside
When You
Realize
The World Comes To Life
And Everythings For Eye
From Beginning To End
When You Have a Friend
By Your Side
That Helps You To Find
The Beauty Of All
When You'll Open Your Heart and
Believe in
The Gift of a Friend'

'Gift of a Friend' - Demi Lovato

I wanna thank you all who leaved many comments on my blogposts. I receive my e-mail on my phone and when I'm in class and I'm so sad 'cause I'm not a brilliant student, I repeat in my mind that my final exams are null for this year again, and I don't know if I'll success my life, sometimes during these moments I received an e-mail from my blog and I read your comments ... So i just wanna say you that I'm seriously so moved by all of 'em ! Thanks for your support ! Don't worry I'll never give up ! You're so amazing with me and I'm not sure to deserve everything. Maybe I repeat a thing I already said but I created this blog to help myself during my new everyday life, like a personal therapy.

I don't know how tomorrow will be but I'm sure of just one thing: I'll never give up and I'll continue.

I choose this picture to remember (...)

(...) that all dreams comes true (L)

'When my world is falling apart'

'When I look at you
I see forgiveness, I see the truth
You love me for who I am like the stars
hold the moon
Right there where they belong and I know
I'm not alone'

Currently it's 1:47 am when i start to write this blogpost and i cant sleep. This 'New' is truly hard for me. I dunno why you keep that secret. I know, we werent always in the same way and I disappointed you earlier. But Today, Tonight, I realize your place into my life. With you against me i never gave up. I always wanna be the best to show you im a great daughter ... of course im not the perfection that you want at school, i am SO sorry for that, but my way is musical. You shouted at me sometimes and you criticized me everytime but you're like that, and I certainly deserve it. I can forgot all the criticizes of everybody on me but YOURS are the worst. They tear my heart. How can you thing these things about me ? If its your way, im agree 'cause i cant go against your mind. But i never forget all these days when we laughed together, smiled and teased Mom. I know, you'll never read this post 'cause you dont understand this language but for me it's the best way. For me English is better than French to explain my feelings, hopes and pains. I've the impression to be more true. Maybe is just an impression i dunno.

First Me, after my Aunt and now You. God do you hate me or what ? I cant believe it .... This is a JOKE !? Why do you hate me like that ?
God please. Hear my prayers.
Maybe you punish me for something I did, right, im agree but please save 'em. Take me away. Just Me. Save 'em.

'Everybody needs inspiration
Everybody needs a song
Beautiful melody, when the nights so long'

It's for this thing that my next song will be for You.

'Cause I know that you love these two photos

'Cause there is no guarantee

That this life is easy
When my world is falling apart,
when there is no light to break up the dark
That's when I look at you '

'Cause for every young girls, they're the heroes of our life.


'Cause I Love You.
God Bless You.

From all my heart & with all my love.

Your Daughter, Lily.

All the Quotes are from: 'When i Look At You' - Miley Cyrus

'Black Keys'

Hey everybody !

Catch the moment. Hide the truth.

Catch the moment. Hide the truth.

Hope everything is ok for you. From 4 days i try to write something about 'Black Keys' 'cause this song is truly incredible and make me cry everytime these last time... This song remembers me one person who's far away now.

'She walks away
Colors fade to gray
Every precious moment's now a waste'

She loved it so much but currently I dunno if she's still in love with it ... I hope yes. I know yes 'cause she loves him so much too... He's the only way to be better against everything. His voice is the only way to be stronger everyday. His strength says me to dont give up. God Bless Him. When I listen 'Black Keys' I cant stop crying now. Her strength into my soul. Her loneliness into my mind. Her hopes into my heart. I just can wait and pray for that now. By the Way, praying, writing, composing and singing are the current only things I can do... My strength cant do more.
If I can I wanna send this strength to everyone who're there for me. All of 'em know who they're for me. Thank you so much again, again and again. Undying. Seriously. 'cause nothing obligate you to do everything you do for me.

I'd compose and recorded a new song named 'Just Friends' you can listen it on my MySpaceMusic's playlist ( http://myspace.com/lilycmusic ) Tell me all your opinions in all my blog post and my music :) To be better in the future ^^ btw this song is truly important for me 'cause I speak about one spacial person who always wants a song about her.

'And the black keys
Never looks so beautiful
And a perfect rainbow never seems so dull
And the lights out
Never had this brighter glow
And the black keys
Showing me a world I never would know
World I never knew '

We're in December now ... December 2nd ... just exactly 14 days 'til my cure .... Im still afraid...

God Bless Yall !

all my Love.

Lily

All the quotes: 'Black Keys' - Jonas Brothers

Thanksgiving !

First thankful for my mom who support me everyday.
Second thankful for all of you who support me in my fight with your sms, and your twitter messages, im so upset by all of 'em. i know with you i'll be stronger and better soon. I know in 21 days i'll be alone in my room at the hospital but in my heart i'll never alone.
Third thankful for all my followers on Twitter and everybody who read my blog posts, comment 'em and watch my videos on my Youtube Channel :)
Thanks for all of you for your e-mail and all your comments on my Facebook's links when you say me that you like 'em i am SO upset when i read 'em 'cause thats very important into my life.
haha BUT i cant forget everybody who speak on my back 'cause without you all my life at HighSchool (and elsewhere) would be less funny ! =D

Thankful to Muse, Jonas Brothers, Mitchel Musso, Demi Lovato and anyone else for your music, your hope and your strength into it ^^

Special thankful to you boy for everything you do for the illness :)

My Simple win today -> try to explain my gratitude for yall into my thankful.

Pray for everyone you love. I Do the same. Today i pray for all of you.

Undying Thank you.

All my Love.
God Bless you All !

Lily

'The 7 things I Hate about You ! '

Yesterday night, I saw Muse at Lyon. The show was incredible. They are truly Invincible. THE Genius. I saw my lovely Mummy and my sweet darling Laurie. Thats AWESOME ! I truly miss 'em. They're always here for me since many years even if i am not a perfect friend with 'em. I am so glad to have you all in my life but I am so sad 'cause you're far away but always here in my heart. Undying thanks Mummy for the hug, i truly needed one.
Id like to share with you ALL this gig 'cause I think these moments must be shared with everyone you love.

In One week, I saw my hope, my pain, my freedom and my stronger passed in front of my eyes.
In 24 days I'll go to the hospital... im so sorry but i cant stop my countdown 'cause Im still afraid by it.

I received one truly weird message this morning:
'Hello. I think you made a wrong number 'cause I dont know any Alice.'

This message would be normal if it were sent by an unknown but this person was my cousin ! Yes ! Thats right ! i cant believe it ! Some people told me that I was famous in my highschool (personally this new dont change my life lmao) but my own cousin FORGOT me ! Alright if she wants but if one day she's back and she needs help, she'll not be able to count on me. In the past, I made everything to stay in contact with her and her parents but nothing from 'em...
To resume my feelings these lyrics are perfect:

'The 7 things I hate about you!
The 7 things I hate about you, oh you
You're vain, your games, you're insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy.
Your friends, they're jerks
When you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you '

'7 Things' - Miley Cyrus

My Simple Win of the day -> Erase her, Erase 'em, Forget my tests.

Congrats to my sweet Clara and to Soraya (they know what :D ) i am SO glad for you ! That will be AWESOME !

My mom calls the CPE (assistant principal of my HighSchool) to explain her that Im sick 'cause at the beginning she didnt believe me. I dunno if that will be better with my CPE now but I wait btw I can just wait ...
Today, the pain of my arms is horrible, i dunno when the pain go away. Soon i hope. I think tomorrow i'll be better... but i recorded my new original song named 'Just Friends' on my computer. Hope you like it :)



I chose this photo 'cause it's my feeling and my desire. ^^

All my Love.
God Bless you all.

Lily.

'Cause I'm not Alone, No no no but I'm not Alone, No no no not Alone'

Banner makes by (L)ea

Today, I can say you that i'm a little bit better than yesterday. It's on these ways we can see the persons who are really here for you.
I had my sport class this morning and thats more difficult to run on the Handball field day after day, and I can't stop thinking of my tests at the hospital in 27 days... i am SO afraid, 'cause now i'm sure ti be alone during these 5 hours of tests.

By the way, Yesterday I finished to write the lyrics and piano sheet of my new original songs named 'Just Friend'. Currently, I work on the guitar, drum and bass sheets, I hope to explain and show you my pain and my love for this song. Hope you like it.

Today all my prayers goes to my friend Lea. I want that she be better. She needs to be better. She must be better. God Bless you girl.

I dunno why but my song of the week is 'Fly with Me'. This song makes me feel strong and better. I dunno how I can explain this feeling. Shivers, happiness, hope ...
But i know with this girls and music I've the impression and the conviction I can kill my illness and be better one day.

God Bless you all.

Lily

' Life, is getting harder day by day
and i, don't know what to do, what to say, yeah
and my mind, is growing weak every step I take
so control your own
now they think I'm fake, yeah
cause I'm not alone, no no no
but I'm not alone, no no no
not alone '

'Not Alone' - McFly

'Sorry'

'Broken hearts and last Goodbyes.
Restless nights by Lullabies helps make this pain go away.'

Once upon these days where I wrote an article about one special person into my life, into my heart. One person who helps me everyday to be stronger and better. One person who today answer me finally:

'Sorry for breaking all the promises I wasnt around to keep.'

My Simple Win Today -> Stop crying.

Thank you to Clara, Helena, Camille, Auré, June, Marina, Laurie, Sab, Alexxz, the Girls if the Team and Nick, for all your support, your prayers and your help. I know just say 'thank you' is truly small for what you do for me if I could Id like to hug all of you. My heart and my love are everyday with you.

' 'Cause i dont wanna see you and me going our separate ways. Begging you to stay if isnt too late.'

' But you're already on your way. '

all the quotes: 'Sorry' - Jonas Brothers

'I Belong to You'

Im currently in the train when I write these lines. Yesterday had been an AMAZING day about 'em.

First I am SO happy 'cause I saw my friends Camille (twitter: _CamilleN), Alexxz (Twitter: Alexxzandrra), Sab (twitter: sangora) and Jessy (twitter: Jessy_Megan)

Arrived at the Sportpaleis at 8:30am w/ my young brother.

At 5pm: Soundcheck … I think he didnt read my banner 'My Simple Win: Be here today' I am so sad but I hope he saws my message... Soundcheck in front of John, Crista & Caro.

At 6pm: Meet & Greet: Haha awesome moment with 'em. I am SO sorry Kevin but I know you didnt angry against me 'cause you hugged me :D

I hope you love your Gift Joe, but I know that too 'cause Nick loves it too haha

The gig in front of my sweet Jack haha AWESOME !

Greg & John (and I think Jack too) had seen our Banner Moon ! John took it in his bag :) They love it so much ! Greg smiling and check me two times with Big Smiles. Haha I LOVE 'EM ! I cant stop laughing when I remember his face at these moments.

At this end of the show, I pointed Jack and make (y) he smiles and says to me 'Thank you so much' after when just guys played nobody applause except ME while looking Jack in the eyes ! He smiled me again and says 'bye' with big smile.

I am SO happy 'cause these guys are truly awesome ! I cant believe no one knows 'em …!!!

I don't know if you Greg, or you, John, or you, Jack read this article one time but guys, seriously … YOU ROCK ;) thanks so much to be the best everytime even if all these … girls comes just for Joe, Nick and Kevin, you're always here and you ROCK ! Caro and Crista too !! You're AWESOME and truly talented musicians.

Id like to meet you one day I hope thats come true soon ^^

By the way, thank so much for your speech next to 'A Little Bit Longer' … I cant comment more but just:

'I can't find the words to say
When I'm confused
I travelled half the world to say
You are my mu-se'

I Belong to You - Muse

Greg
John
Jack
Ryan
YOU ROCK

I've a message for you all now. I just wanna thank you all for your reading, comments, following, prayers and more ! I created this blog to share with you my fight of everyday... Soon I'll come to the hospital to do some tests... I hope everything will be ok... but im afraid of this day 'cause I was always afraid of the noodles. In 1 Month and 1 day.

All my Love.
God Bless You All Everyday.

Lily

'A Little Bit a Longer and I'll Be Fine'

Hey guys !
Currently, when i write it i am in the train to be back at Lyon. I know i'll post this text when i'll be at home.
im just come back from Zurich... Truly weird weekend ...
First we take the wrong train ... it was not to Geneva but to Evian-Les-Bains. We slept in a hostel there and took the boat to Lausanne at 5:40am after we took the subway to the rail-station and finally a train to Zurich ...
13 hours instead of 4.
To close this weird week-end we had meet Billy Joe Amstrong and Tre Cool of Green Day ... WTF ? i had win Meet&Greet and Soundcheck passes to finally didnt see the Jonas ... i am truly sad.

I think about everything: my life, my future, my health... The loose w/ the gig at Zurich learned me the importance of 'em into my life, my fight.
He's my hero even if I prefer another ;) He's so strong and courageous. Everybody couldnt do the half he does everyday. I thought im like him but finally not. im so weak than him ...

"My simple win: be here today." dont forget that guys ... (©LilySimpleWin)

i dont how can explain you my pain, my sadness and my emptiness ...
i just say to you when i person write a song and if this song make you cry just when you ear it, you understand the real way of the song when you are in the same way ...
I cannot stop to repeat in my mind this lyrics:

'All this time moves by
Still no reason why
A little bit longer and I'll be fine'

A Little Bit a Longer - Jonas Brothers -

i dunno why ... certainly to convince me i'll be better ...
Another thing is truly ... hard to hear for me,
Still this Hero, Still this men, Still Crying:

'This Song,
Is for every broken heart,
for every lost dream,
for every high or for every low
And for every person who's ever felt alone,
And Tonight this song, This song is for you.'

Speech while performing A Little Bit a Longer in 3D Concert Experience - Nicholas Jonas -

Thank you so much my Hero, thank you so much for everything you do.

Write this post is very hard for me... Every time when i hear this song or this speech i cry ... I cry now...

i wanna say a BIG thank you to my friends who are with me everyday again and again ...
I am a broken heart, I know my dreams are lost but not dead, I've High and low everyday, i had already be alone but now i am not.

For illustrate this article I've chose this pic of my Hero 'cause just this pic makes me cry every time ...


All My Love ! God Bless you ALL !

Lily.

The Heart Never Lies

Its Saturday October 24^th 2009 at 7:38am when i wrote his words.

Im wake up at 4:50am 'cause today w/ my SoftBall Team we play at Marseille in the South of France.

I feel better now, but few hours earlier i ate one Donuts and from that ive a big stomachache … now i feel better, i eat some biscuits whose great for me :) but i always freezing …. :/

More the lands movin in front of my eyes, more i thinkin of my life, my health, me, you, everything.

I know my way is here. In this car w/ their.

I hope that everything gonna be alright.

The sunshine gets up from the horizon. Beautiful thing. Beautiful colors.

im happy to be here even if the president of the team didnt ordered my license for this weekend so i cant play, but thats not a problem. I'll make many photos. SoftBall is important in my life.

btw here in France we're in holidays since tomorrow so i dont work Monday. I can see Moon !!! =D and our sweet friend who's comes back from Brest in the North of France (cold place haha LMAO).

Even if im sick, my life is truly awesome ! I'll go to see the Jonas Brothers for the FIRST time in two weeks w/ Moon, the next week i'll go to see the Jonas again w/ my brother, after the next Friday i'll go to see Indochine w/ my sweet Amazing June (haha ill present you her soon ;) ).

FINALLY i'll go to see Muse for the 6^th times ! W/ Moon, my brother AND June !! haha Awesome !! Cannot wait to do all this things with 'em !

I wish a happy birthday party to my friend Tom for Tonight im so sorry i couldnt be here …

I hope n i pray for my friend Léa & Auré i know thats nothing, btw im not a believer, but i wanna help you girls ! You're so sweet thanks for everyday girls, you make me laugh every night !

McFly, Muse, Jonas, Tom, Rupert … etc, etc... haha (L)

' If you don't believe me
Just look into my eyes
'cause the heart never lies

Some people fight, some people fall
Others pretend they don't care at all
If you wanna fight I'll stand right beside you
The day that you fall I'll be right behind you
To pick up the pieces

If you don't believe me
Just look into my eyes
'cause the heart never lies '

' The Heart Never Lies ' - McFly

God Bless you my Friends.

All my Love.

Lily.

Banner makes by Léa :)

' We will be victorious ' [ ... ] ' That'd be alright '

' They will not force us
They will stop degrading us
They will not control us
We will be victorious '

'Uprising' - Muse

Hey ! Tonight i dunno why but i feel truly ... sad.
Have you already got one person in your life who make you happy everyday ? Who just understand you when she's look into your eyes ? Who know when you're sad ? Who take care of you when she buy candies w/o sugar ? Who send you THE more moving message for your Birthday ?

I HAVE THIS PERSON !

But ...
Since two days, she didnt not answer me. No Message. Nothing. I cant believe it ! I love her sooo much ! i cant live w/o her ! I Miss her so far ! T.T

My Last Tweet:
@ddlovato & @Selenagomez - Miley/Mandy - @sangora & @Alexxzandrra - @GarciaLea & @EmmaLKC - ME & YOU ! I miss you !

I wanna say to you Thank you so much for everything you do and try to do for me. You're the sweetest girl ever ! I cant write all my thought b you 'cause i prefere to hug you ! Thats more expressive thing for me !
I can write more and more but thats not like a real hug :)
You're my sweety Sil ! My Selena ! My voice for living ! The FIRST person to call me Stella ! The ONLY ONE to call me Coco ! (L)

'Happy bday my sweety sweety sil ! i love you sooo much ! you're my starlight =) my raindow =) the reason why im singing =) you're the guiding light my life was missing =) i really need you, and im so proud to be in your life too. you learned me how to be simple and humble, how to accept who you are, how to be free, how to be happy. happy birthday my Lily. <3 '

What can i answer to this INCREDIBLE message ?

Expect for that I LOVE YOU !

I think i'll conclude this article b you my Sil just how i begun it: With Music.

' If it's you and me forever
If its you and me right now
That'd be alright
Be alright '

'Fly With Me' - Jonas Brothers










Thx to Auré for the '[ ... ]' haha :D

' Tell Me Why. Why Why ? Does it hurt so Bad ? Tell me Why. Why Why ? Does it make me mad ! '

Tonight im so puzzled ...
Puzzled about him ...
He's so pretty w/ me, texting me, tease me, smile me everytime ...
He wants a poem so i wanna create it but i CANT write it ... i try but i dunno ... i find nothing !
Just one white page ...
Why ?
His Smile make me smile back, his blue eyes call me to swim in 'em.
We speak together everyday.
He tries to make me laugh.
He tries to make me smile.

' Tell Me Why. Why Why ? Does it hurt so Bad ? Tell me Why. Why Why ? Does it make me mad ! '

Tell Me Why - Jonas Brothers

Maybe im afraid about that ! about him ! about love ! i dunno !

I am so Puzzled ...

Welcome to My Simple Win !

Hey guys ! Welcome to my new blog :)

Here i wanna share with you many part of my everyday life ^^
Im Lily, im 18 and im a huge fan of Muse, Jonas Brothers, Mitchel Musso, ThirtySecondsToMars and Demi Lovato !
I live in France but i wanna live in US or in another country in the future. Music is all my life. I think Its also some things whom everybody should know because she helps to pass and to support full of events. i work at school and at job all of the day and i compose music all of the night ! Im the drummer and second voice into a french rock band named Adventys.
Im so excited to see the Jonas Brothers at Zurich and at Antwerpen !!! and after i'll see Indochine and MUSE !! CANNOT WAIT ! :D
Btw im the creator and president of the French Street Team of Mitchel Musso !
To release my soul i need to take photos, sing, compose songs, write texts, work on my novel, or just do one way in my car ...

Since few month i suffer of some weird symptoms ... and to write and sing become my only way to be better ...

'But you don't know what you got 'til it's gone
And you don't know what it's like to feel so low
And every time you smile or laugh you glow
You don't even know, no, no.
You don't even know. '

A Little Bit a Longer - Jonas Brothers.

I continue to smile and laugh everyday, i continue to play Softball and do some sport at my HighSchool to show to everyone that even if im weak, i can do the same things, the same efforts, the same way ...
Currently, nobody knows what I have really, i already make some analyses to know but nobody knows ....

I am not a believer but sometimes i think one mystic force help everyone in this world .... i ma not a believer 'cause if God is real and listen my old prayers i already do comes back her from 8 years .... But i think the expression 'God Bless you' is very important for everyone and i've the impression everybody could be better ...

All of my Love. Lily



Check Me Out on Youtube, Myspace, Twitter & e-mail as well ! =)
http://youtube.com/LilyCmusic
http://www.myspace.com/lilycmusic
http://www.twitter.com/hendrixcheers

Me taken by MoonOfCydonia :)