10 mai 2010

Please get well soon!

It's great to never forget the best time with a person we love.

Wow ! I realized i was very absent of this special place from 1 month … Many things happened this last month.

First, I was at the cinema with my brother few weeks ago, and I saw an ex-colleague I was in love with but like the life is made I can't love him 'cause it's not a great thing for me, for my heart. He's not single and certainly he already forgot me btw. When I saw him, all the world around crashed. But I had the idea to write a new song ''If I Ain't Got You'', I'll not hide you that I cried by writing it. It's one of my fav I already composed. It speaks about my feelings about two special persons. Two special persons I can love but that's all.

Next week, I was at hospital for 1 week instead of 3 days for the long test I already mentioned. it was a hard week and it's during those hard moments that some dreams could come true.

Yes, Trust me Seriously.

I explain you: Tuesday night, i watched Dr House on my Tv and tweeted ''Watching Dr. House when you're at the hospital is … very weird'' (or something like that) and one episode later i tweeted to Jack: ''@JackLawless: Jack...'' and i saw a yellow @reply window just before my last tweet. IT WAS A TWEET FROM HIM ! Oh my God ! I didn't realize ! First I thought it was a poser one but I read: “J.A.C.K.L.A.W.L.E.S.S.”. I couldn't say anything, my tears were speaking for me. He's the best Sweet Heart ever for me ! I still can't believe it ! That's just unbelievable ! I feel so blessed. It was a real deliverance to read this tweet from him. In my problems I had a chance finally. My heart felt better instantly and I couldn't stop smiling. I thanked God to be with me and to heard my prayers. And I still couldn't stop crying. But I continued to read it and thanks everyone again and again. This thing never could happen without them.

Just this tweet make my heart feel much better, even today when I read it.

" I read a few tweets saying your in the hospital.
I hope you are doing ok.

Please get well soon!

From Jack Lawless to I on Twitter.

I read all the @replies from my friends and myself to him but NOBODY spoke about me at the hospital. O_O it means that he came on my Twitter profile maybe.... I don't know. That's the miracle of this night. But It's not the main question. The most important thing ever is the strength he gave me this night. Another night which is better because of him. At this moment, this Tuesday April 13th night, I realized that EVERY dreams could become true ! Never Give up Guys ! At this moment, this Tuesday April 13th night, I never imagined what will happen two days later. After his tweet I decide to write him another letter to thanks him about his tweet and the strength he gave me with just few words. 'cause finally it's just a tweet. Just 20 words. 140 characters. But the best strength that someone like me needs ! It's very great for the heart to know that the person you admire ask you to get well soon ! So I decided to write this new letter to him, a very short one that I wanna send with a new copy of the old one. A new one just to say ''thank you for the tweet and more''. I wrote it Thursday April 15th and when I had finished it I check out my BlackBerry and saw a new Email:

''Direct Message From Jack Lawless''

At this moment, I had the feeling that my heart stop beating a few. It was just more unbelievable than the tweet.

I read it and crying so much.

Dear readers, Jack had read my letter and DMed me to say me thank you for it, and ''it was very sweet!'' he explained me why I read it just now (I sent it in February) and he said me “Please Get well soon!'' again...

Just speaking about it make me smile and my tears are back …

What did obligated him to write me those two messages ? Nothing. Nothing obligated him. I think he wrote with his heart a few. What do you think about 'em ?

You know if I close my eyes I can see these smiles to me at Antwerp. If I Close my eyes, I can be back at Antwerp and even if it's not great for me I stay in this world just because its my perfect world.

This song is for you two.
How could I say you ?

Don't forget it

If one day you hear it.

Writing, singing, playing, once again.

If I Ain't Got You

Smiling, laughing, praying, once again.
If I Ain't Got You.

"If I Ain't got you" - Lily'C

I dedicate this one to my friend Elise.

I was out of the hospital the next Friday and what I saw when I was back at home: No train, no planes in all over the Europe ! What the fuck ? Stupid Volcano I'd like to go to see my family in the South of France and to make a break with my life here but I was stuck at home.

But next important (and truly weird) thing happened one week later this new one which started. Next Tuesday everybody learns the big Jonas Brothers' announcement about the World Tour and Wednesday afternoon I received a text message from … Her … She sent me a sweet text to ask me how's my school year, if I'm fine and what happen in my life … I was just like that → O_O (lmao). I spoke about this text with some friends and one told me that maybe she wrote me just because of the World Tour announcement … I thought of this idea and maybe she's right. You'll see if she answer me.

The same day I saw a new doctor because the previous one give up her cabinet. (so great –') 'cause since I was back from the hospital I feel so bad. Big big stomachaches, and palpitations more and more again. The new doctor gave me two new drugs (for my stomachaches and some vitamins) and a sonogram to know if that's because of my stomach or my pancreas. Bad new if it's my stomach.... Very bad thing … and very hard one. I hope it's ''just'' my pancreas... Even if it's my pancreas I currently don't know what this thing is.

Last week, I decided to be online on msn and a “friend” come to speak with me … at the beginning he was so cool and sweet with and suddenly he said me that everybody think that i'm a poser, not sick, and I said everything just to tell many liar ! How a friend can think something like that really ? What the hell ? I didn't sleep this night. I cried so much. I wasn't offended just sad because of I think he was my friend … Since this day, I'm afraid of everyone around me at school … last week was hard too. People speak less with me. I don't why. It hurts me so bad. But I must live like that so I do it.

" I'm not a trick you play, I ride a different way
I'm not a mistake, I'm not a fake, It's set in my DNA
Don't change me
I can't be tamed. "

"Can't Be Tamed" - Miley Cyrus

I can't stop say to myself these lines to try to don't give up, even if i see the finish line move away from me day by day. I continue to reach out to try to catch it.

" Turn Right
Into my Arms
Turn Right
You won't be alone
You might
Fall off this track sometimes
Hope to see you on the finish line. "

"Turn Right" - Jonas Brothers

Today, Friday May 10th , I received all my results from the hospital (yes yes one month later really !) and the doctor of the hospital send me to see another new one again … By the way, the problems are not from my stomach finally so … pancreas ? I'll know soon. I hope. I promise to get well soon and i'll do it !

In this last paragraph I wanna thanks every persons who support me, who write me when i'm sad, who tweet Jack about me again today, it's very important for me and you're SO awesome with me that's incredible.I wanna thanks every persons who watched my last cover of Lady Gaga – Paparazzi, 7,000 views in one week I can't believe it ! O_O and I wanna thanks every persons who voted for my blog on NickJonasFrance.org because I was the WebTop of this last month !

I'll conclude this new blogpost while saying to you to don't forget to ALWAYS Keep The Faith and to NEVER Give up ! First because i'm pretty sure that A Little Bit Longer and We'll Be Fine and because of EVERY dreams could become true one day, it's enough to believe in them everytime with your heart. I think I can say i'm a great example of this way.

Thanks you so much from the Bottom of my heart everyone.

God Bless You All.
All my Love.


PS: I don't copy/paste you the Jack's DM because I think if he DM me it was because of something private and I wanna respect his choice. Hope your understand mine.