25 nov. 2010

Happy Thanksgiving.

Wow ! it becomes to be a tradition there. haha x) it's just really important to me to try to thanks everyone. I'd like to put a message to all the important persons into my life but i can't ... why ? simply 'cause these persons already knows how much i love 'em and i am so grateful and thankful to have them in my life and my heart.

Thanks to my family to trust in me and support me everyday.
Thanks to all my friends. Thank you so much everyone for everything. i am so thankful and blessed to have you all !
Thanks to everyone you believe that even me i was able to be graduate. and I AM ! =D
Thanks to all my followers on Twitter and readers,and everyone else who are watching my videos on my Youtube Channel ^^

Thanks to Muse, Jonas Brothers, Christa Black, Paris Carney, John Taylor, Ryan Liestman and of course Jack Lawless for your music, your messages to me, your hope and your strength into it.
Special Thanks to Gregory Garbowsky to tweet my friend Elyse. It was so awesome ! and i know how important it means to her.

My Simple win of the day -> try to explain my gratitude for yall into my thankful.

Pray for everyone you love. Today i pray for all of you.

Don't forget to Keep The Faith and to Never Give Up 'cause I Little Bit Longer and We'll be Fine. Always believe in your dreams.
Undying Thank you.

All my Love.
God Bless you All !


23 nov. 2010

Carried Away

Started: November 22. 2010.

November 18 was 4 days ago … it means 1 year without her already. Yes. Even 1 year later and i am still missing her so much.
Unknowing and disappointment are the appropriate words.

One Year I wrote some posts about you. About our good time and the bad ones too. I dont regret and I assume anything I said, wrote or thought. I am proud to have been her friend.
I just still can't believe that you left me one year ago.

One year ago exactly today was my last day beside you.
November 22, 2009. Lyon. Muse.

October 23, 2009, I wrote on this blog; “But ...
Since two days, she didnt not answer me. No Message. Nothing. I cant believe it ! I love her sooo much ! i cant live w/o her ! I Miss her so far ! T.T” I didn't have idea about what will happen one month later … but I was right 'cause she commented: “Woaw.......... I'm just...crying. What could I say after that ? Just ..I love you =) "Don't want to fall asleep, 'cause I don't know if I'll get up, but I'm dying without your love..." but i know I'm loved, I know it, and I'll never foget. And "don't foget, to take a breath =D" I LOVE YOU MY SIL !!!! “
Sometimes I think that I am a real stupid and weak girl.
Stupid to believe that she could be a real friend. That we will be there to each other to some many years again and again …
But finally … after a long text message you wrote:
'Sorry for breaking all the promises I wasnt around to keep.'
Yes, sometimes it's really hard to forget a friendship … I don't why. Maybe 'cause I am so stupid and believe her. She said that everything she said to me was right but how can I be sure ?
I saw some recent updates from her Facebook page … She listened them again. One year later.
I don't wanna know if she misses me. It was her choice not mine. I hope she knows how much I still love her even if I am not sure to be ready for her come back on my life.
Wow I just realized that I am still speaking about her in my posts … I don't why really. Maybe it's a good thing to forget her. Or to get her in my life... How could i know ? Who could really know ?

You’ve opened up my heart
to something I never thought
that I could be a part of
And now it’s very clear,
Now that you’re standing here,
You are all I’ve wanted

"Carried Away" - Paris Carney

Get carried away...

... to feel Free.

I am still learning the American Sign Language . I hope one day I could sign well to share my music and so many other stuffs with more new people !
Maybe i'll upload a post in sign language soon or/and maybe one of my songs too.
Let me introduce to you an so sweet girl. Her name is Ashley and she's deaf and sign language and she makes so many moved video on Youtube !
My favs are “Fly With Me” and “A Little Bit Longer” but I let you discover all these upsetting videos.

I'd like to help deaf persons to enjoy a better life. Of course I 'd like to help dumb and blind persons too but I fell closer to deaf persons than the other ones. I remember when I was young and my mom talked to me about her children dream, the lost one: Learning the sign language to help deaf persons. But in the past, these kind of studies where far away from her current place and too expensive so she become music teacher and I am so proud of her !

Anyway, thank you so much to Paris Carney. If she read these lines she'll know why. You're such an awesome, sweet and talented girl. Don't pay attention to haters and spammers Paris. Stay yourself and you'll see they will get out of your space very quickly. I am sure. Stay strong and don't forget to Keep the Faith everyday. (and thanks so much for your post on your Tumblr for the lyrics)

Jealousy will eat you up,
When you think you’re not enough
Just look inside and you will find,
Its a lie.

"Carried Away" - Paris Carney

Get Carried Away...

...while making music.

I'm still composing music and i've got 2 new upcoming songs !
Don't forget to check out my original songs on my MySpace Page and many covers on my Youtube channel.

Thank you so much everyone. Thanks for believing, hoping and supporting. I know I am not happy too much these last weeks. Hope you'll forgive me.

A little message to one of the most incredible girl of my life: <4

I must get back to the hospital next week (Dec. 2) to see a doctor, so I don't know if I'll post 'til this day. I just wanna believe that everything's gonna be okay. Don't forget to Keep the Faith and to Never Give Up 'cause A Little Bit Longer and We'll Be Fine.
Always believe in your dreams.

God Bless you. 

With all my love.


Pictures: Paris Carney.

13 nov. 2010

"Apparently I'm beautiful [...] And I wouldn't change a thing. "

Hope is Life.

There those days where you realized how lucky you are even if you thought you was not. There those days where you wanna leave your current place and go far away. There those days when you realized you need just love in your life.
I know how much lucky i am. I need just love in my life. Just this little thing but i dont give up and continue to live without it. I don't know if someone can live without love. I mean ... The real one. Not friendship. The real love. The one where your heart feels so good everyday, where your smile is coming upon your face everytime when you heard his name, his voice, or saw his face. id like to find it but i thing that i am too afraid. Trust me guys ! Don't be afraid of love ! Don't be like me. I am not a good example. I always told to a boy: ''oh .. no ... erm ... sorry ... i am not free.'' it was stupid and perfectly immature ....
In fact i think i had too suffered in the past and i am afraid to live it again. Yes, i know, i am still afraid by something, but without fear life will be not the same. it will be not a normal one.

Hope makes live. Yes. that's right. so continue to hope, to pray, to believe in your dreams even if you think it's the most craziest one ever because when your dreams will become true, your heart feels the happiest ever and you'll feel as invincible. Trust me.

These last months i am not a good blogger 'cause i was very busy.
Many things changed in my life until April.
First i was graduated and started my new studies about FX, Animation, videogames etc...
I met so many new awesome people but i realized how people really are and sometimes it's not some good things. Oh ! no sorry ! it's more "persons" instead of "things"
Well i think that everybody cant love everyone but i think i am not stupid. I can saw when someone is a fake person. Stop lying guys ! Why are you lying too much ? Do you think it's better like that ? Do you think you gonna be a better person behind lies ? Are you too ashamed of yourself to tell the truth ? I can't believe these kind of persons who lie to "exist".
YOU are fake, fake, fake ! i need to tell you STOP ! It's becoming so ridiculous !

I saw a cardiologist 2 months ago, he said that my heart aches existed because i get the Tietze's Syndrome ... it's an infection of the sternum and rib cartilage that causes pressure on my chest... i am waiting a new rendezvous with a special doctor for a cure. French Medical system really sucks a lot!
But i keep the smile about it ! i am sure one day it will be okay and i could eat everything i want etc ... =) i wanna stay optimistic and strong !

" I'm feeling kind of crazy
I think maybe I'm in love
And I wanna turn the music up
Tip back my cup and drink it all in deep
'Cause there's no place on earth I'd rather be"

"California Sunshine" - Christa Black

I made an incredible trip to London with my dear friend Jessy to see the 25th Anniversary of Les Miserables, the musical. It was like a month at London but we were there something like 2 days only ! Just AWESOME !

Normally i didnt make advertisement on this special place but i wanna make an exception.
I wanna share with you the work of a really awesome non profit organization named: ALittle Bit Longer ! Since few months they try to do their best to help the research about all the incurable disease !! HELP Them too please ! Thank you ALittle Bit Longer to believe and work so hard everyday.


Life is a gift. as John Taylor will said now: Life is awesome.

Few days ago, someone i love wrote me: "One "!" can change a whole message."
And she is right about it !
His message was not the same without this lil' thing... Everything were different i think.

"This is critical
I'm feeling helpless
So hysterical, this can't be healthy
I can't eat or sleep
When you're not with me
Baby, you're the air i breath
This is critical, yeah
So stuck on you "

"Critical" - Nick Jonas

One year ago (+ one week), i'll back from Zurich and posted a post about this weird but finally funny weekend with you girls !
Wow ! It was on year ago already ... I can't believe it ! Time flies too fast !
But right now, one year ago i was in a late train from Lyon to Antwerp ! and tomorrow we'll be November 14 ! How could I forget this day ? it was one of the best day ever ! i know, i am SO lucky to meet Nick, Joe & Kevin and to be at the Soundcheck party =)
How could I forget this moment ? This moment shared with him at the end of the show, this short time shared with him which made me forget all my problems, which made me forget everything except him and what he means to me ...
I could talk about this moment again and again ... =')
It stucks in my heat everyday.

Because this is THE word about him.

I spoke with a girl who said to me that she is so jealous 'cause i met Nick, Joe & Kevin last year. After she said to me that she met Jack two times ! I know i am so lucky to meet Joe, Nick & Kevin but girl, do you realize how lucky you are into my eyes ? I could give all i have to see him just one minute. To have just one minute with him. Even less than one minute. I'd like to say to him how grateful i am about all he gave to me last April and this special night. He is my hero. More than Nick ... More than Matt. Why ? Simply 'cause even the others are so sweet, Jack was a real guardian angel to me... I think i could never thanks him as he deserves it ... that's bad. I really hope one day i could hug him and say to him all these things.

"Were Venus and Mars
Venus and Mars
Were like different stars
Like different stars
But your the harmony to every song I sing,
And I wouldn't change a thing."

"Wouldn't Change a Thing" - Demi Lovato & Joe Jonas.

Oooh and a last awesome weird thing: I turned 20 last month ! Time flies really really fast !
I remember when i was young *_*
When i was i had a dream: have a Christmas with all my family like a real Christmas ! and this year this dream could become true ! Thanks so much to my Mom ! i really really hope it will become true. My aunt is really weak and i am so afraid to her and i wanna pass this Christmas with her. it will be so magic...

"And i always believed there's magic on christmas eve
Then Santa comes round, & im so glad we found this love we swore to keep
And we walk in the snow, letting our troubles go
To a far away place so that we embrace christmas spirit all around and i say
Merry Merry Christmas... today"

"What Would Christmas be like ?" - Mia Rose

A special thanks to all of you who support me everyday during my highs and lows. you are all so awesome with me that's incredible ! =')
Another special thanks to my two new friends Lea & Mick, welcome to my life and i am so sorry you are coming during a low , and i am so sorry to be without smile these last days.
A special thanks to my friends Jessy, JessiK and my sweetie Garbow who are there for me everyday and she knows who grateful i am about them. I hope so !
A Last special thanks to Christa Black 'cause her music helps me so much to get a motivation and to Keep the Faith.

Don't forget to Keep the Faith and to Never Give Up 'cause A Little Bit Longer and We'll be Fine. Always believe in your dreams.

"But God loves ugly
He doesn't see the way I see
Oh, God takes ugly
And turns it into something that is beautiful
Apparently I'm beautiful
'Cause You love me"

"God Loves Ugly" - Christa Black

God Bless you.
With all my love.


Pictures: Christa Black - Jack Lawless