23 nov. 2010

Carried Away

Started: November 22. 2010.

November 18 was 4 days ago … it means 1 year without her already. Yes. Even 1 year later and i am still missing her so much.
Unknowing and disappointment are the appropriate words.

One Year I wrote some posts about you. About our good time and the bad ones too. I dont regret and I assume anything I said, wrote or thought. I am proud to have been her friend.
I just still can't believe that you left me one year ago.

One year ago exactly today was my last day beside you.
November 22, 2009. Lyon. Muse.

October 23, 2009, I wrote on this blog; “But ...
Since two days, she didnt not answer me. No Message. Nothing. I cant believe it ! I love her sooo much ! i cant live w/o her ! I Miss her so far ! T.T” I didn't have idea about what will happen one month later … but I was right 'cause she commented: “Woaw.......... I'm just...crying. What could I say after that ? Just ..I love you =) "Don't want to fall asleep, 'cause I don't know if I'll get up, but I'm dying without your love..." but i know I'm loved, I know it, and I'll never foget. And "don't foget, to take a breath =D" I LOVE YOU MY SIL !!!! “
Sometimes I think that I am a real stupid and weak girl.
Stupid to believe that she could be a real friend. That we will be there to each other to some many years again and again …
But finally … after a long text message you wrote:
'Sorry for breaking all the promises I wasnt around to keep.'
Yes, sometimes it's really hard to forget a friendship … I don't why. Maybe 'cause I am so stupid and believe her. She said that everything she said to me was right but how can I be sure ?
I saw some recent updates from her Facebook page … She listened them again. One year later.
I don't wanna know if she misses me. It was her choice not mine. I hope she knows how much I still love her even if I am not sure to be ready for her come back on my life.
Wow I just realized that I am still speaking about her in my posts … I don't why really. Maybe it's a good thing to forget her. Or to get her in my life... How could i know ? Who could really know ?

You’ve opened up my heart
to something I never thought
that I could be a part of
And now it’s very clear,
Now that you’re standing here,
You are all I’ve wanted


"Carried Away" - Paris Carney

Get carried away...

... to feel Free.

I am still learning the American Sign Language . I hope one day I could sign well to share my music and so many other stuffs with more new people !
Maybe i'll upload a post in sign language soon or/and maybe one of my songs too.
Let me introduce to you an so sweet girl. Her name is Ashley and she's deaf and sign language and she makes so many moved video on Youtube !
My favs are “Fly With Me” and “A Little Bit Longer” but I let you discover all these upsetting videos.

I'd like to help deaf persons to enjoy a better life. Of course I 'd like to help dumb and blind persons too but I fell closer to deaf persons than the other ones. I remember when I was young and my mom talked to me about her children dream, the lost one: Learning the sign language to help deaf persons. But in the past, these kind of studies where far away from her current place and too expensive so she become music teacher and I am so proud of her !

Anyway, thank you so much to Paris Carney. If she read these lines she'll know why. You're such an awesome, sweet and talented girl. Don't pay attention to haters and spammers Paris. Stay yourself and you'll see they will get out of your space very quickly. I am sure. Stay strong and don't forget to Keep the Faith everyday. (and thanks so much for your post on your Tumblr for the lyrics)

Jealousy will eat you up,
When you think you’re not enough
Just look inside and you will find,
Its a lie.

"Carried Away" - Paris Carney

Get Carried Away...

...while making music.

I'm still composing music and i've got 2 new upcoming songs !
Don't forget to check out my original songs on my MySpace Page and many covers on my Youtube channel.

Thank you so much everyone. Thanks for believing, hoping and supporting. I know I am not happy too much these last weeks. Hope you'll forgive me.

A little message to one of the most incredible girl of my life: <4

I must get back to the hospital next week (Dec. 2) to see a doctor, so I don't know if I'll post 'til this day. I just wanna believe that everything's gonna be okay. Don't forget to Keep the Faith and to Never Give Up 'cause A Little Bit Longer and We'll Be Fine.
Always believe in your dreams.

God Bless you. 

With all my love.


(L)ily.

Pictures: Paris Carney.

2 commentaires:

RedElea a dit…

Be strong. Keep the faith.
Maybe she'll come back into your life, like a storm, making all your doubts fall out in a blink ; maybe you'll take time to know her again ; maybe she won't make a move... In any case : "You're beautiful" & "I wouldn't you to change a thing" <3

crystal a dit…

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