'You'll Change Inside When You Realize'

Wednesday, December 16^th 2009 . 12pm

« It's Time. It's Today. It's now. Let's go. »

Thats my first tweet of the day.

Yes ! My countdown is finished. Im sit on a bed at the hospital since 8am this morning. Hard day in fact. Cold and sad for me. Im hungry and thirsty currently and I wanna sleep. My weakness is truly important. I wanna thanks all the person who didnt forget me today and send me some messages and tweets. Thank you for all your prayers for today. I'm not sure to deserve 'em but im really moved. Seriously you're the best with me. Thank You. Today I saw the person who're important for me 'cause they don't forget me.

Saturday, December 19^th 2009

Currently I'm still waiting my results ... I don't know the answer, the verdict.

Yesterday night, I tweeting with two friends about a french girl who lies to many peoples ... I can't believe it ! How can she lies like that ? And why ? She just wanna met 'em... And these guys believe that she does everything just for us ... Okay that's not my main subject of the day. Last weekend I performed on stage with the Adventys haha awesome ! The some guys who was there loves Our new song :) that's amazing I'm so glad ! When I'm on stage and when I play music I can't explain why but I've the feeling to be better and stronger ! But btw after the last Adventys' gig I was so tired and weak =( this week I've more palpitations like the other latest weeks, I don't know why ... But I hate this feeling when I've my palpitations, I've the impression that my blood is into my body, my mind and get out of my heart.

My hear..., this heart who's feels so alone since one year ... I thought I found the thing to be better during many many years but finally just during some months but thanks my lost friend for these months ... this weekend was the first of my first holidays without you... I feel truly alone here at home. My car's expedition are not the same without you. The last time I saw you ? Last weekend. Before the Adventys' gig. Not after. Why ? 'Cause you was already far away into the city ... Far away from me like you erase me of your heart. I know you hate the person who you are. You think that you don't have a heart but I know it exist 'cause I lived with you during these funny and awesome months. I know you. Finally ... Its what I thought ... I'm still angry against you. But really not finally. 'Cause one day I said you: "I'll be always there for you." Future isn't behind me ... But please never forget:

'You'll Change
Inside
When You
Realize
The World Comes To Life
And Everythings For Eye
From Beginning To End
When You Have a Friend
By Your Side
That Helps You To Find
The Beauty Of All
When You'll Open Your Heart and
Believe in
The Gift of a Friend'

'Gift of a Friend' - Demi Lovato

I wanna thank you all who leaved many comments on my blogposts. I receive my e-mail on my phone and when I'm in class and I'm so sad 'cause I'm not a brilliant student, I repeat in my mind that my final exams are null for this year again, and I don't know if I'll success my life, sometimes during these moments I received an e-mail from my blog and I read your comments ... So i just wanna say you that I'm seriously so moved by all of 'em ! Thanks for your support ! Don't worry I'll never give up ! You're so amazing with me and I'm not sure to deserve everything. Maybe I repeat a thing I already said but I created this blog to help myself during my new everyday life, like a personal therapy.

I don't know how tomorrow will be but I'm sure of just one thing: I'll never give up and I'll continue.

I choose this picture to remember (...)

(...) that all dreams comes true (L)

'When my world is falling apart'

'When I look at you
I see forgiveness, I see the truth
You love me for who I am like the stars
hold the moon
Right there where they belong and I know
I'm not alone'

Currently it's 1:47 am when i start to write this blogpost and i cant sleep. This 'New' is truly hard for me. I dunno why you keep that secret. I know, we werent always in the same way and I disappointed you earlier. But Today, Tonight, I realize your place into my life. With you against me i never gave up. I always wanna be the best to show you im a great daughter ... of course im not the perfection that you want at school, i am SO sorry for that, but my way is musical. You shouted at me sometimes and you criticized me everytime but you're like that, and I certainly deserve it. I can forgot all the criticizes of everybody on me but YOURS are the worst. They tear my heart. How can you thing these things about me ? If its your way, im agree 'cause i cant go against your mind. But i never forget all these days when we laughed together, smiled and teased Mom. I know, you'll never read this post 'cause you dont understand this language but for me it's the best way. For me English is better than French to explain my feelings, hopes and pains. I've the impression to be more true. Maybe is just an impression i dunno.

First Me, after my Aunt and now You. God do you hate me or what ? I cant believe it .... This is a JOKE !? Why do you hate me like that ?
God please. Hear my prayers.
Maybe you punish me for something I did, right, im agree but please save 'em. Take me away. Just Me. Save 'em.

'Everybody needs inspiration
Everybody needs a song
Beautiful melody, when the nights so long'

It's for this thing that my next song will be for You.

'Cause I know that you love these two photos

'Cause there is no guarantee

That this life is easy
When my world is falling apart,
when there is no light to break up the dark
That's when I look at you '

'Cause for every young girls, they're the heroes of our life.


'Cause I Love You.
God Bless You.

From all my heart & with all my love.

Your Daughter, Lily.

All the Quotes are from: 'When i Look At You' - Miley Cyrus

'Black Keys'

Hey everybody !

Catch the moment. Hide the truth.

Catch the moment. Hide the truth.

Hope everything is ok for you. From 4 days i try to write something about 'Black Keys' 'cause this song is truly incredible and make me cry everytime these last time... This song remembers me one person who's far away now.

'She walks away
Colors fade to gray
Every precious moment's now a waste'

She loved it so much but currently I dunno if she's still in love with it ... I hope yes. I know yes 'cause she loves him so much too... He's the only way to be better against everything. His voice is the only way to be stronger everyday. His strength says me to dont give up. God Bless Him. When I listen 'Black Keys' I cant stop crying now. Her strength into my soul. Her loneliness into my mind. Her hopes into my heart. I just can wait and pray for that now. By the Way, praying, writing, composing and singing are the current only things I can do... My strength cant do more.
If I can I wanna send this strength to everyone who're there for me. All of 'em know who they're for me. Thank you so much again, again and again. Undying. Seriously. 'cause nothing obligate you to do everything you do for me.

I'd compose and recorded a new song named 'Just Friends' you can listen it on my MySpaceMusic's playlist ( http://myspace.com/lilycmusic ) Tell me all your opinions in all my blog post and my music :) To be better in the future ^^ btw this song is truly important for me 'cause I speak about one spacial person who always wants a song about her.

'And the black keys
Never looks so beautiful
And a perfect rainbow never seems so dull
And the lights out
Never had this brighter glow
And the black keys
Showing me a world I never would know
World I never knew '

We're in December now ... December 2nd ... just exactly 14 days 'til my cure .... Im still afraid...

God Bless Yall !

all my Love.

Lily

All the quotes: 'Black Keys' - Jonas Brothers