We're together everything's alright

As usually I have too many things to say at the same time, and I don't know how to start.

You'll never be ...

"Alone on the Path"

I discovered this month, how much a girl's heart can be dark and bad and I seriously won't lie to you: It hurts me so badly to know that some people can be heartless at this point. For example she broke up with a boyfriend to go out with another one, she invited him to live with her everything in less two month. She can't stop saying wickedness of the first one, everyday again and again. Then she broke up with this second boyfriend for some selfish reasons and now she came back with the first one. It's just unbelievable and makes me sick. How can someone stand this ?
Anyway I don't wanna talk more about her 'cause she does not deserve it but I can tell you that I feel really better in my mind for she is out of my space, out of my life.
There is a feeling bigger than hate, it's disregard. :)

"You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
Who Do you think you are"

"Jar of Hearts" - Christina Perri

Sometimes If you feel like you are not in the good place.
Sometimes If you feel like alone or useless to everyone you love.
Sometimes If you feel bad for nothing.
Then Don't be worry.
If you are not in the good place right now, don't worry your special place will come soon.
If you feel alone,don't worry, you'll never be. Your friends are there, your family is too and of course your guardian angel(s) is/are always here to guide you everywhere you'll be and in every choices you'll have to do.
If you feel useless don't be worry, you are not 'cause everything you could say will always help your friends.
If you feel bad for nothing, don't be worry. Of course I havent a magic formula but I can just tell you to wait 'cause tomorrow is always another day.

"Some will win
Some will lose
Some are born to sing the blues
And now the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

Don't stop believin'
Hold on to that feelin'
Streetlight, people"

"Don't stop believing" - Journey

Each problems always get a solution, when you don't know what to do or what to feel,if you are nervous or scared, just close your eyes and repeat to yourself: "Everything's gonna be okay" again and again.
You'll see how will you feel better after this and that everything will be okay.
Trust me.

Yes you have to Keep the Faith and you'll see one day your dreams will become true and your life will be better.

"We're together everything's alright"

"Grab Your Coat" - Ocean Grove

I don't know when I got this feeling for the first time, but I just can see that it is here, in the bottom of my heart. It's like a locked door about to explose at each moment of my life.
But as I said above it's like a locked door, it's a mysterious feeling, I don't know what is behind this famous door... I am curious and I wanna know but I am scared to be disappointed by I could discover over there.
Sometimes this fear takes the control on me and I can just go to my bed, put on my duvet on my head and vanish from this world. So far away from this feeling. But sometimes I cant then I close my eyes and repeat to myself that everything's gonna be okay and my day continues.

"I can feel my heart beating as i speed from

then sense of time catching up with me" - Death. White Lies

I visited to my doctor to the hospital, she said my tests were good ! That's SO amazing ! But she can't explain why I am so tired, falling asleep, have sugar problems and I have to get back to see my endocrinologist again to explain this.
I don't wanna go back .
Why can't she explain these symptom.
And sometimes I am about to think that I am just sick in my head … but I know I am not 'cause it's really hurting me. I get so many problems to breath while running on a Softball field, climb the stairs and more.
I am just tired of everything. But I won't give up and i'll fight. Maybe I am my own problem but i'll fight against myself if I need to do to get well.

Few months ago, one of my classmate told me: “Why aren't you studying music ?” I have to confess … it was a good question … last year i'd like to apply to an American Music College but I am not sure to have the level and this is SO expensive … =/ but I won't stop composing and singing 'cause I am firmly convinced that music can help to fight, to feel better, to live in another and better world, and that music can simply save a life. I will continue this way 'cause I feel it's the inly one place I have to be.

"I'm beautiful in my way,
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was Born This Way
Don't hide yourself in regret,
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was Born This Way "

"Born This Way" - Lady Gaga

I know someone who is currently reading this post while waiting for something I tweeted last week.
I have a special thanks today. I'd like to do it 'cause it's another proof that music can save a life.
I have a special thanks to 3 boys who are making one of the girl I love the most on Earth happy as I never saw her before.
She is radiant and that's just makes me so glad to see her like that. She really deserves it and for this I just can say thank you so so much to White Lies. Even when she is writing her reviews I can see how happy she is. How free she feels. I am so grateful to you White Lies. Thanks so much. Thanks for her.

"And that’s why I smile
It’s been a while
Since every day and everything has
Felt this right
And now you’re turning all around
And suddenly you’re all I need
The reason why I smile"

"Smile" - Avril Lavigne

The Softball outside season is back and I have to see that my level get down during these months off … I have to get it again … and for this I think I also need to rest more than before …
I saw it during my March vacations. I got one week off and I booked a 5 days to ski with my family then I should take the plane to New York to see Ocean Grove performing live for their 2nd show. Finally I rested during my snowboarding days, even if I can snowboard during 1 or 3 hours max per day but it was good to see another landscape, other people, my family and of course I was far away from my everyday life.
If one day you feel too bad for nothing maybe I finally have something for you: go to see new things or things you love so much during few days. It will be good for your soul and your mood and you will see your life with another glance. As a really reborn.

It's really good to reborn from something, it's like a new life begins.

When I booked my trip to New York City I thought one of my biggest could become true over there and finally I am fallen from high. I had to cancel it 'cause finally this days to the mountains wasn't perfect to rest good.
I was so sad, but I know i made the good choice.
Now I feel better, some weeks I sleep more than the others, I don't know why but I don't care. It's my life I have to live with it even if I have to fight everyday to stay in this good way.

Don't Forget to Keep the Faith and Never Give Up 'cause A Little Bit Longer and We'll Be Fine.
Always believe in your dreams and stay yourself.
They are the most important things.


These last weeks on Twitter, people talked about 100 facts about us. I decided to found mine.

1- My name is Alice but my friends and my family are calling me Lily.
2- I am singer/Songwritter
3- My hero is Jack Lawless
4- Only my maternal grandparents are calling me by my second name: Marie.
5- My favorite music bands are Muse, ThirtySecondsToMars, Ocean Grove, Jonas Brothers, Dionysos and Indochine
6- Number of Muse's show i already saw.
7- i am Infographic 3D/2D student.
8- I am French
9- i speak English more than i speak French.
10- i have one young brother only and he is amazing !
11- My favorite actress is Angelina Jolie.
12- Number of my pairs of Converses, i remember to have.
13- I already met some famous people.
14- I love Joe Flanigan, Jared Leto and Nicolas Cage.
15- My guitars' names are Kimmy & Anya
17- I love taking pictures of shoes .
18- I am never wearing the same socks
19- My favorite female singers are Christa Black, Amélie-les-Crayons, Demi Lovato and Paris Carney
20- I am addicted to Japanese food.
21- I couldn't live without music.
22- My favorite sports are Snowboard and Softball.
23- I am Right Outfield in my Softball Team.
24- My Softball team is like another family to me.
25- I already almost fall asleep in the cinema.
26- My biggest dream is to be on stage throughout the world to share my music.
27- Writing in my blog and songs is like a therapy
28- ''Don't Forget to Keep the Faith and to Never Give Up 'cause A Little Bit Longer and We'll Be Fine.'' is the motto of my life.
29- I think music can really save a life.
30- I was photographer to Julian Perretta's show at Lyon and this night a fan bit me !
31- I'll never forget November 14, 2009.
32- After my studies, i'd like to live in LA.
33- I like taking pictures.
34- I can't eat sugar 'cause of a small insulin deficiency
35- I can't stand heartless people
36- I think Lady Gaga is perfect, crazy and amazing. She makes me laugh a lot.
37- I never understand the Jonas Brothers fans who dont know who the backup musicians are.
38- I love snow and winter but I get some mood problems when the weather is too grey during few months.
39- My favorite french TV Show is Kaamelott.
40- I love to play chess.
41- I have a collector Clamp chess set.
42- My favorite movies are The Saga Underworld and comedy/romance movies as Valentine's Day or The Holidays.
43- In my opinion, Hans Zimmer is the best film score composer.
44- I am crying for nothing 'cause I am very sensitive.
45- My roomie's name is Fanny.
46- I'd like to have a dog.
47- I love to take the plane.
48- It's my number in my softball team.
49- I could become lesbian to go out with the dancer Ashlee Nino.
50- I use ''SweetHeart'' about (and to) one person only.
51- My favorite sportives are Shaun White and Hannah Teter
52- My favorite song ever is Megalomania by Muse
53- Only few people knows why it's my favorite song.
54- My favorite Jonas Brothers songs are Tonight, Burnin' Up (live) and Fly With Me
55- For me A Little Bit Longer is more than a song. It's a strength, a hope.
56- The first thing i do when i wake up: checking Jack Lawless tweets.
57- I love playing poker.
58- Everybody cannot understand my personal meaning of my first tattoo. (i'll get it on April 13)
59- Only 2 or 3 persons knows the secret of my song ''If I Ain't Got You''
60- I hate crossing a rail when i am in a car/bus.
61- I am 20.
62- I really regret one thing until now: I was to lazy to accept the audition request for Glee Season 2 they sent me.
63- I am a Stargate Atlantis super fan.
64- If i could live in the Harry Potter's world, i'll be at Slytherin, friend with Draco and a Death Eaters.
65- When i am really really angry against something or someone, i go to an empty place, put on my headphones, switch on my Ipod, listen to The Kill by 30 SecondsToMars, and i scream into the darkness.
66- I am always worry for each important persons of my life. Each one knows you they are to me.
67- I never dislike Bustin Jieber's music. In fact, i have all his discography on my iPod.
68- Before i hated Taylor Swift, then i listened her music and totally felt in love to cry.
69- Lara Croft is my oldest heroine.
70- My favorite country/city in the world is Monaco
71- I am still sleeping with two stuffed animals: a Volt and a Pikachu.
72- I am addicted to Hello Kitty and already got so many stuffs.
73- I composed the majority of my songs during insomnias.
74- I have 3 books for hope and always have 2 of them in my handbag.
75- My favorite Artist (not as musician or actor) is Andy Warhol.
76- Grace Kelly represents the woman's perfect to me.
77- I have a big problem with pink color.
78- I always forgot my History dates but i always remember the shows dates i was to.
79- The longest letter i wrote took 4 pages and i needed 4 months to write it perfectly.
80- It's easier to me to explain my feelings in English than in French.
81- I am learning American Sign Language and i hope one day i could help Deaf-and-Dumb person.
82- I'd like to adopt my children.
83- I already cried while composing a song.
84- I was drummer and backup voice in a french Rock Band named Adventys.
85- I don't wanna delete my twitter account 'cause it's my only one link with him.
86- I love reading Anne Rice's books.
87- I can solve a Rubick's Cube in less a minute.
88- Generally, i am late to each rdv. (i know it's bad)
89- Few years ago, i wore black clothes and only black clothes.
90- During my Middle-School 7th Grade, i slapped a girl and my friends held me back before we fight.
91- I cried when i saw my admission to graduation.
92- I repeated a year … two times.
93- I love my blond hairs more than my brown ones.
94- I tweet and text too much.
95- I love poppy and red lily flowers.
96- I never took drugs.
97- I already felt asleep 'cause i drink too much. (btw i slept sooooo good this night xD)
98- I know Lady Gaga's Bad Romance Chorus part choreography and I am a really really bad dancer.
99- I hate when someone has the same clothes as mine.
100- I already killed an USB key 'cause i worked too much.

"'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you"

"My life would suck without you" - Kelly Clarkson

God Bless you,
All my Love.

(L)ily.

Credits: Etienne Rolland (Pictures)

"Inception"

I don't know how to start this post.
Maybe i should speak about all my memories from the last year first, or, about my new resolutions of the new one.
Okay let's go.
2010 was … weird … Many highs and many lows happened … a few things made me so happy and so many another made me cry. But it's why a life needs to be live i think...
If i should speak about 2010... wow i don't know how to start … Okay Well …. erm … i'm reading an awesome book, and at the last of the Chapter 1 the author said it's good to make lists. So i'll compose this post chronologically and as a list =)

In January, I played my first solo show in a french pub ! I was so nervous but so happy to play some songs with my young b rother and to be with my sweet friend Jessy. For the first for a while, I saw my father be proud of me … it was a weird feeling but a good one ! This day realized he might be proud of me …!

February was a good month, I went to Paris to spent a wonderful day with my awesome friend Auré. I'll never forget this sunny day at Paris and I hope we could have another one soon.

April. Oh well April … it was the weirdest month of this year .. like really. This month I started to believe more than ever. Again and again. I feel so blessed & strong for it. I could write so many papers about this month, about every feelings, to thanks every persons who supported and helped me during all these month but especi ally during this one … I already talked about it in a previous post (“Please Get Well Soon” - posted on May 10, 2010) so I don't wanna repeat myself. But I am not able to thanks you my friends, and you my hero as you all deserve it. I am so sorry.

In May with the Adventys we p layed at a Festival and it was our last gig together. It was 3 beautiful years with you guys like really. I'm still loving you. In my heart we're staying the rock band Adventys. For this day, be on stage is one the thing I miss the most...

I miss this feeling... it's also one of my fav picture of the year.

Demian Arriaga

I liked June a lot. I went to Paris for a 2nd time to see Indochine performing a big show at Stade de France on June 25. After this weekend at Paris I never realized that i'll lost my friend June … Yes … She don't speak to me anymore … I feel like broken ... June 30 was like a rebirth night. Be on stage with ThirtySecondsToMars with my sweet and crazy friend Laurie was one of the most epic thing I never lived before.

After the month where I learn to never give up and always believe, the one of reborn time, it's now time to speak about the month of freedom. July. Yes. After 5 years of suffering and pain at HighSchool, I'd finally been graduated ! Since this special day, my dad never look at me as before. Everything's feeling like new, perfect, and easier. It was like a new life started... After my graduation announcement, I joined my young brother for an epic night at the Antic Theater of Vienne to watch a night I waited for a while: Diana Krall + Elvis Costello. OH YEAH ! Still can't believe it ! We were first row it was just so magic !
I worked during July and the both first weeks of August then I had got a brand new job. I know... I was a bad girl to get this 2nd job because my doctor said that I must take some vacations but I took it to get more money and especially to get more change to meet him when he will come to Europe. I accepted this job because they said to me that I had to work as cashier (it's a calm job), but when I came the first day, they switched my planning to so many hard working tasks even if I worked as cashier the first day. I will not hide you the truth: It was a real fail. I wasted 6 hours standing up without any minutes to sit down even few minutes … when I finally put my ass on my car and turn on the music, I heard this song and even if it's an happy song, I cried all the tears from my body.

“Well, here we are again
Throwing punchlines, no one wins
As the morning sun begins to rise, we're fading fast
And we won't work this out”

"Tonight" – Jonas Brothers

I cried during the road trip to get back home. It was just too much for me. My body, my mind, me couldn't continue … I was more than exhausted... I never cried like that before in my whole life... I finally drove during 1h30 instead of 45 minutes to get back home to finally explained to my parents why I won't come back to work over there and why I took this job. My mother was angry but she was so comprehensive and let me come to vacations with them.

“No, we're not gonna work this out tonight
(We won't work this out)
No, we're not gonna make this right
So I'll give a kiss and say goodbye
(Give a kiss goodbye)
'Cause we're not gonna work this out
Tonight”

"Tonight" – Jonas Brothers

Yes August was hard, but vacations were so blessing. I saw so many beautiful thing like the sea. I didn't saw it since 2 years and it was so relaxing. I was still worry about him as usually... I am still worry for every important persons in my life.... this is just …. me =) And yes, August was weird too about another thing that only my sweet Jessy can understand why ;)

A new life is about to start...

Lady Gaga

September means the beginning of a new school year. I became a student of Esia 3D (Animation 3D, Special Effects, Videos Games and more), I got a sweet and so funny roomie named Fanny, and my sweet Jessy & I went to Paris to watch the Camp Rock 2 French Premiere. I liked it ! AND it was THE month of the Final games of the French Softball Cup ! Verdict: Card's (my team) is the 5th best team of France ! SO PROUD ! I also met an extraordinary girl who is now one of my closest friend ! I love her so much ! Thank you girl for every night, sushi time and more spent with you !

Again 3 months to close this list of my 2010 year … I get the chance to met Julian Perretta on October 6 (and i was photographer on his first real show at Lyon), I turned 20 on October 18 and the most important thing happened during this month was: Les Miserables 25th Anniversary at London O2 Arena ! It was just a PERFECT weekend... I can't say more it was just so magic, epic, wonderful, perfect, sweet and more and more and more and more and more ! If I could i'd like to come back there right now ! For my 20 birthday I went to a sushi restaurant with June … It was the last time I saw her, I spoke to her, I slept with her …

Julian Perretta & I - Lyon Showcase FNAC - October 6.

I'm jumping directly to December, where I got not replied from her... she was my best friend and she never replied to me about my Merry Christmas & Happy New Year text messages … I am just so disappointed …

During this year, my health got some highs and lows... but I stayed strong, never stopped fighting and, especially, I kept the Faith. I just have a problem since December 'cause my glycemia is very high … and just starting for yesterday to down a bit … hope it will be back at its normal level soon 'cause these highs and lows make me angry, tired, happy, angry, tired, depressed, angry, tired, depressed, happy … –' it just so annoying and I am sure its not fun to every persons who are living around me everyday …. I am sorry guys.

My 2010 wish was to meet my hero. it's also my 2011 biggest wish. i am still hoping and praying for. with all my heart. 'cause i wanna believe that every dreams can become true one day.

I can't close my year without speaking about THE movie of the year: Inception. It was just … wow … I watched so many movies this year (1 per week min) but this one was just so … incredible ! O_O I am still like … nothing while watching it and I am currently listening the OST while writing this blogpost. First time I watched it, I realized how important are our dreams in our life …

This movie inspired me to write a new song last December...

“Like Leonardo in his movie
I wanna make it
Put It in your head
As it could be yours
But I confess
it's my
Inception to you.”

Inception – Lily'C

At School I am living beside a girl who can't stop lying … Everyday she is lying more and more … That's absolutly awful that a kind of person like her can exist. I am sure she could be a great girl without lies … I just can't understand why some people needs to lie just to exist... They probably think lies are the only one way to love … They are totally wrong.

I think the only one way to love is to stay yourself, believe in yourself, and love yourself first.

“The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”

Nature Boy – Eden Ahbez / Nat King Cole

At the beginning of this post, I spoke about a book I am reading. It's “God Loves Ugly (but love makes beautiful)” by the sweet and wonderful Christa Black. In less few pages, this book became the 3rd book of my lost of “Book for Hope”. It helps me to Keep the Faith more and more day by day. Sometimes, yes, I confess I lost the Faith, but I remember what my Hero Jack Lawless made for me and what Christa is writing in her book and I believe again. I know everyone is different, everyone react, live, sleep, think differently than the other persons around them. I know Christa has her own demons, you who is reading this post you have your personal ones and I have my own demons too. But if you stay strong, and you don't forget how important it's to Keep the Faith, to never Give Up and Always believe in your whole dreams then you could finally fight your demons with a huge success. Without it all we can't live in peace with ourself.

It's easier to hide our pains behind a smile...

Christa Black

Christa's book makes me realize how important are these things, how important are these demons inside me, inside my heart. These ones who are killing me day by day for a while.

Even if my Love Bucket is empty, I don't wanna be a failure anymore. I wanna succeed. And i'll do.

I'll fight everyday to sing again, to compose many new songs, to get a chance to speak about all these things with Christa one day, and … To get a small chance to meet my hero, to hug him and say to him how much I am still blessing and helping by his tweet and his DM to me last April, to thanks him about all this strength he gave me this night and to thanks him just to be my personal powerful and hero. I'll just need few seconds. The best ever.

“I'll Give my whole life
To get this chance
One minute only
The perfect one.
I wanna lost my mind into your arms
I'll leave this place
Take this flight finally
I won't get back
This one way only.”

“One Way Only” - Lily'C

This year a girl named Karine put comments on my posts and I never took some minutes to answer to her so I have a special message to her: Thank you so much girl ! Currently Doctors are not able to say which is my disease … Im passing so many tests but nothing... about one special disease... about some of them but not one special one... I am still waiting. You can hear my songs on my MySpace and my Youtube Channel. Thank you so much again !

I will pray the next four months, for a men i don't know but i know his fiancée and i love her a lot. She is one of the sweetest girl i ever know and i really hope he will get back to her soon. Take Care Erwan. God Bless you. My prayers are with you.

I'd like to say that I am so sorry to everyone who were annoying about me this year, I know about what I am talking about 'cause I already spoke about it with some of you. I love you guys and still praying for you all.
Special thanks to Christa Black, Demian Arriaga, John Taylor & Rob Hoffman to take few minutes to watched my videos, listened my songs on MySpace, and of course sent me tweets to comment them all. It means a lot guys. Thank you so much.

“Always sing from your soul, be you and stay honest.”

From Demian Arriaga to me.
Don't worry Demian i'll never forget it.

I Won't Stop Believe...

My Hero. Jack Lawless.

Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart my dear friends.
Don't forget to Keep the Faith and to Never Give Up 'cause A Little Bit Longer and We'll Be Fine.


God Bless You.

All my Love.


Your dearest, (L)ily.

PS: if you want/need ask/write me something else, you can send me emails to asklily@live.com . I'll always reply you and i'll directly receive all your messages on my mobile.