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[New Link]
All My Love
Lily
26 févr. 2012
Moving Blog
6 avr. 2011
We're together everything's alright
As usually I have too many things to say at the same time, and I don't know how to start.
Anyway I don't wanna talk more about her 'cause she does not deserve it but I can tell you that I feel really better in my mind for she is out of my space, out of my life.
There is a feeling bigger than hate, it's disregard. :)
Sometimes If you feel like you are not in the good place.
Sometimes If you feel like alone or useless to everyone you love.
Sometimes If you feel bad for nothing.
Then Don't be worry.
If you are not in the good place right now, don't worry your special place will come soon.
If you feel alone,don't worry, you'll never be. Your friends are there, your family is too and of course your guardian angel(s) is/are always here to guide you everywhere you'll be and in every choices you'll have to do.
If you feel useless don't be worry, you are not 'cause everything you could say will always help your friends.
If you feel bad for nothing, don't be worry. Of course I havent a magic formula but I can just tell you to wait 'cause tomorrow is always another day.
Each problems always get a solution, when you don't know what to do or what to feel,if you are nervous or scared, just close your eyes and repeat to yourself: "Everything's gonna be okay" again and again.
You'll see how will you feel better after this and that everything will be okay.
Trust me.
Yes you have to Keep the Faith and you'll see one day your dreams will become true and your life will be better.
I don't know when I got this feeling for the first time, but I just can see that it is here, in the bottom of my heart. It's like a locked door about to explose at each moment of my life.
But as I said above it's like a locked door, it's a mysterious feeling, I don't know what is behind this famous door... I am curious and I wanna know but I am scared to be disappointed by I could discover over there.
Sometimes this fear takes the control on me and I can just go to my bed, put on my duvet on my head and vanish from this world. So far away from this feeling. But sometimes I cant then I close my eyes and repeat to myself that everything's gonna be okay and my day continues.
I visited to my doctor to the hospital, she said my tests were good ! That's SO amazing ! But she can't explain why I am so tired, falling asleep, have sugar problems and I have to get back to see my endocrinologist again to explain this.
I don't wanna go back .
Why can't she explain these symptom.
And sometimes I am about to think that I am just sick in my head … but I know I am not 'cause it's really hurting me. I get so many problems to breath while running on a Softball field, climb the stairs and more.
I am just tired of everything. But I won't give up and i'll fight. Maybe I am my own problem but i'll fight against myself if I need to do to get well.
Few months ago, one of my classmate told me: “Why aren't you studying music ?” I have to confess … it was a good question … last year i'd like to apply to an American Music College but I am not sure to have the level and this is SO expensive … =/ but I won't stop composing and singing 'cause I am firmly convinced that music can help to fight, to feel better, to live in another and better world, and that music can simply save a life. I will continue this way 'cause I feel it's the inly one place I have to be.
I know someone who is currently reading this post while waiting for something I tweeted last week.
I have a special thanks today. I'd like to do it 'cause it's another proof that music can save a life.
I have a special thanks to 3 boys who are making one of the girl I love the most on Earth happy as I never saw her before.
She is radiant and that's just makes me so glad to see her like that. She really deserves it and for this I just can say thank you so so much to White Lies. Even when she is writing her reviews I can see how happy she is. How free she feels. I am so grateful to you White Lies. Thanks so much. Thanks for her.
The Softball outside season is back and I have to see that my level get down during these months off … I have to get it again … and for this I think I also need to rest more than before …
I saw it during my March vacations. I got one week off and I booked a 5 days to ski with my family then I should take the plane to New York to see Ocean Grove performing live for their 2nd show. Finally I rested during my snowboarding days, even if I can snowboard during 1 or 3 hours max per day but it was good to see another landscape, other people, my family and of course I was far away from my everyday life.
If one day you feel too bad for nothing maybe I finally have something for you: go to see new things or things you love so much during few days. It will be good for your soul and your mood and you will see your life with another glance. As a really reborn.
It's really good to reborn from something, it's like a new life begins.
When I booked my trip to New York City I thought one of my biggest could become true over there and finally I am fallen from high. I had to cancel it 'cause finally this days to the mountains wasn't perfect to rest good.
I was so sad, but I know i made the good choice.
Now I feel better, some weeks I sleep more than the others, I don't know why but I don't care. It's my life I have to live with it even if I have to fight everyday to stay in this good way.
Don't Forget to Keep the Faith and Never Give Up 'cause A Little Bit Longer and We'll Be Fine.
Always believe in your dreams and stay yourself.
They are the most important things.
These last weeks on Twitter, people talked about 100 facts about us. I decided to found mine.
1- My name is Alice but my friends and my family are calling me Lily.
2- I am singer/Songwritter
3- My hero is Jack Lawless
4- Only my maternal grandparents are calling me by my second name: Marie.
5- My favorite music bands are Muse, ThirtySecondsToMars, Ocean Grove, Jonas Brothers, Dionysos and Indochine
6- Number of Muse's show i already saw.
7- i am Infographic 3D/2D student.
8- I am French
9- i speak English more than i speak French.
10- i have one young brother only and he is amazing !
11- My favorite actress is Angelina Jolie.
12- Number of my pairs of Converses, i remember to have.
13- I already met some famous people.
14- I love Joe Flanigan, Jared Leto and Nicolas Cage.
15- My guitars' names are Kimmy & Anya
17- I love taking pictures of shoes .
18- I am never wearing the same socks
19- My favorite female singers are Christa Black, Amélie-les-Crayons, Demi Lovato and Paris Carney
20- I am addicted to Japanese food.
21- I couldn't live without music.
22- My favorite sports are Snowboard and Softball.
23- I am Right Outfield in my Softball Team.
24- My Softball team is like another family to me.
25- I already almost fall asleep in the cinema.
26- My biggest dream is to be on stage throughout the world to share my music.
27- Writing in my blog and songs is like a therapy
28- ''Don't Forget to Keep the Faith and to Never Give Up 'cause A Little Bit Longer and We'll Be Fine.'' is the motto of my life.
29- I think music can really save a life.
30- I was photographer to Julian Perretta's show at Lyon and this night a fan bit me !
31- I'll never forget November 14, 2009.
32- After my studies, i'd like to live in LA.
33- I like taking pictures.
34- I can't eat sugar 'cause of a small insulin deficiency
35- I can't stand heartless people
36- I think Lady Gaga is perfect, crazy and amazing. She makes me laugh a lot.
37- I never understand the Jonas Brothers fans who dont know who the backup musicians are.
38- I love snow and winter but I get some mood problems when the weather is too grey during few months.
39- My favorite french TV Show is Kaamelott.
40- I love to play chess.
41- I have a collector Clamp chess set.
42- My favorite movies are The Saga Underworld and comedy/romance movies as Valentine's Day or The Holidays.
43- In my opinion, Hans Zimmer is the best film score composer.
44- I am crying for nothing 'cause I am very sensitive.
45- My roomie's name is Fanny.
46- I'd like to have a dog.
47- I love to take the plane.
48- It's my number in my softball team.
49- I could become lesbian to go out with the dancer Ashlee Nino.
50- I use ''SweetHeart'' about (and to) one person only.
51- My favorite sportives are Shaun White and Hannah Teter
52- My favorite song ever is Megalomania by Muse
53- Only few people knows why it's my favorite song.
54- My favorite Jonas Brothers songs are Tonight, Burnin' Up (live) and Fly With Me
55- For me A Little Bit Longer is more than a song. It's a strength, a hope.
56- The first thing i do when i wake up: checking Jack Lawless tweets.
57- I love playing poker.
58- Everybody cannot understand my personal meaning of my first tattoo. (i'll get it on April 13)
59- Only 2 or 3 persons knows the secret of my song ''If I Ain't Got You''
60- I hate crossing a rail when i am in a car/bus.
61- I am 20.
62- I really regret one thing until now: I was to lazy to accept the audition request for Glee Season 2 they sent me.
63- I am a Stargate Atlantis super fan.
64- If i could live in the Harry Potter's world, i'll be at Slytherin, friend with Draco and a Death Eaters.
65- When i am really really angry against something or someone, i go to an empty place, put on my headphones, switch on my Ipod, listen to The Kill by 30 SecondsToMars, and i scream into the darkness.
66- I am always worry for each important persons of my life. Each one knows you they are to me.
67- I never dislike Bustin Jieber's music. In fact, i have all his discography on my iPod.
68- Before i hated Taylor Swift, then i listened her music and totally felt in love to cry.
69- Lara Croft is my oldest heroine.
70- My favorite country/city in the world is Monaco
71- I am still sleeping with two stuffed animals: a Volt and a Pikachu.
72- I am addicted to Hello Kitty and already got so many stuffs.
73- I composed the majority of my songs during insomnias.
74- I have 3 books for hope and always have 2 of them in my handbag.
75- My favorite Artist (not as musician or actor) is Andy Warhol.
76- Grace Kelly represents the woman's perfect to me.
77- I have a big problem with pink color.
78- I always forgot my History dates but i always remember the shows dates i was to.
79- The longest letter i wrote took 4 pages and i needed 4 months to write it perfectly.
80- It's easier to me to explain my feelings in English than in French.
81- I am learning American Sign Language and i hope one day i could help Deaf-and-Dumb person.
82- I'd like to adopt my children.
83- I already cried while composing a song.
84- I was drummer and backup voice in a french Rock Band named Adventys.
85- I don't wanna delete my twitter account 'cause it's my only one link with him.
86- I love reading Anne Rice's books.
87- I can solve a Rubick's Cube in less a minute.
88- Generally, i am late to each rdv. (i know it's bad)
89- Few years ago, i wore black clothes and only black clothes.
90- During my Middle-School 7th Grade, i slapped a girl and my friends held me back before we fight.
91- I cried when i saw my admission to graduation.
92- I repeated a year … two times.
93- I love my blond hairs more than my brown ones.
94- I tweet and text too much.
95- I love poppy and red lily flowers.
96- I never took drugs.
97- I already felt asleep 'cause i drink too much. (btw i slept sooooo good this night xD)
98- I know Lady Gaga's Bad Romance Chorus part choreography and I am a really really bad dancer.
99- I hate when someone has the same clothes as mine.
100- I already killed an USB key 'cause i worked too much.
God Bless you,
All my Love.
(L)ily.
You'll never be ...
"Alone on the Path"
I discovered this month, how much a girl's heart can be dark and bad and I seriously won't lie to you: It hurts me so badly to know that some people can be heartless at this point. For example she broke up with a boyfriend to go out with another one, she invited him to live with her everything in less two month. She can't stop saying wickedness of the first one, everyday again and again. Then she broke up with this second boyfriend for some selfish reasons and now she came back with the first one. It's just unbelievable and makes me sick. How can someone stand this ?Anyway I don't wanna talk more about her 'cause she does not deserve it but I can tell you that I feel really better in my mind for she is out of my space, out of my life.
There is a feeling bigger than hate, it's disregard. :)
"You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
Who Do you think you are"
"Jar of Hearts" - Christina Perri
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
Who Do you think you are"
"Jar of Hearts" - Christina Perri
Sometimes If you feel like you are not in the good place.
Sometimes If you feel like alone or useless to everyone you love.
Sometimes If you feel bad for nothing.
Then Don't be worry.
If you are not in the good place right now, don't worry your special place will come soon.
If you feel alone,don't worry, you'll never be. Your friends are there, your family is too and of course your guardian angel(s) is/are always here to guide you everywhere you'll be and in every choices you'll have to do.
If you feel useless don't be worry, you are not 'cause everything you could say will always help your friends.
If you feel bad for nothing, don't be worry. Of course I havent a magic formula but I can just tell you to wait 'cause tomorrow is always another day.
"Some will win
Some will lose
Some are born to sing the blues
And now the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on
Don't stop believin'
Hold on to that feelin'
Streetlight, people"
"Don't stop believing" - Journey
Some will lose
Some are born to sing the blues
And now the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on
Don't stop believin'
Hold on to that feelin'
Streetlight, people"
"Don't stop believing" - Journey
Each problems always get a solution, when you don't know what to do or what to feel,if you are nervous or scared, just close your eyes and repeat to yourself: "Everything's gonna be okay" again and again.
You'll see how will you feel better after this and that everything will be okay.
Trust me.
Yes you have to Keep the Faith and you'll see one day your dreams will become true and your life will be better.
"We're together everything's alright"
"Grab Your Coat" - Ocean Grove
"Grab Your Coat" - Ocean Grove
I don't know when I got this feeling for the first time, but I just can see that it is here, in the bottom of my heart. It's like a locked door about to explose at each moment of my life.
But as I said above it's like a locked door, it's a mysterious feeling, I don't know what is behind this famous door... I am curious and I wanna know but I am scared to be disappointed by I could discover over there.
Sometimes this fear takes the control on me and I can just go to my bed, put on my duvet on my head and vanish from this world. So far away from this feeling. But sometimes I cant then I close my eyes and repeat to myself that everything's gonna be okay and my day continues.
"I can feel my heart beating as i speed from
then sense of time catching up with me" - Death. White Lies
then sense of time catching up with me" - Death. White Lies
I visited to my doctor to the hospital, she said my tests were good ! That's SO amazing ! But she can't explain why I am so tired, falling asleep, have sugar problems and I have to get back to see my endocrinologist again to explain this.
I don't wanna go back .
Why can't she explain these symptom.
And sometimes I am about to think that I am just sick in my head … but I know I am not 'cause it's really hurting me. I get so many problems to breath while running on a Softball field, climb the stairs and more.
I am just tired of everything. But I won't give up and i'll fight. Maybe I am my own problem but i'll fight against myself if I need to do to get well.
Few months ago, one of my classmate told me: “Why aren't you studying music ?” I have to confess … it was a good question … last year i'd like to apply to an American Music College but I am not sure to have the level and this is SO expensive … =/ but I won't stop composing and singing 'cause I am firmly convinced that music can help to fight, to feel better, to live in another and better world, and that music can simply save a life. I will continue this way 'cause I feel it's the inly one place I have to be.
"I'm beautiful in my way,
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was Born This Way
Don't hide yourself in regret,
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was Born This Way "
"Born This Way" - Lady Gaga
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was Born This Way
Don't hide yourself in regret,
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was Born This Way "
"Born This Way" - Lady Gaga
I know someone who is currently reading this post while waiting for something I tweeted last week.
I have a special thanks today. I'd like to do it 'cause it's another proof that music can save a life.
I have a special thanks to 3 boys who are making one of the girl I love the most on Earth happy as I never saw her before.
She is radiant and that's just makes me so glad to see her like that. She really deserves it and for this I just can say thank you so so much to White Lies. Even when she is writing her reviews I can see how happy she is. How free she feels. I am so grateful to you White Lies. Thanks so much. Thanks for her.
"And that’s why I smile
It’s been a while
Since every day and everything has
Felt this right
And now you’re turning all around
And suddenly you’re all I need
The reason why I smile"
"Smile" - Avril Lavigne
It’s been a while
Since every day and everything has
Felt this right
And now you’re turning all around
And suddenly you’re all I need
The reason why I smile"
"Smile" - Avril Lavigne
The Softball outside season is back and I have to see that my level get down during these months off … I have to get it again … and for this I think I also need to rest more than before …
I saw it during my March vacations. I got one week off and I booked a 5 days to ski with my family then I should take the plane to New York to see Ocean Grove performing live for their 2nd show. Finally I rested during my snowboarding days, even if I can snowboard during 1 or 3 hours max per day but it was good to see another landscape, other people, my family and of course I was far away from my everyday life.
If one day you feel too bad for nothing maybe I finally have something for you: go to see new things or things you love so much during few days. It will be good for your soul and your mood and you will see your life with another glance. As a really reborn.
It's really good to reborn from something, it's like a new life begins.
When I booked my trip to New York City I thought one of my biggest could become true over there and finally I am fallen from high. I had to cancel it 'cause finally this days to the mountains wasn't perfect to rest good.
I was so sad, but I know i made the good choice.
Now I feel better, some weeks I sleep more than the others, I don't know why but I don't care. It's my life I have to live with it even if I have to fight everyday to stay in this good way.
Don't Forget to Keep the Faith and Never Give Up 'cause A Little Bit Longer and We'll Be Fine.
Always believe in your dreams and stay yourself.
They are the most important things.
These last weeks on Twitter, people talked about 100 facts about us. I decided to found mine.
1- My name is Alice but my friends and my family are calling me Lily.
2- I am singer/Songwritter
3- My hero is Jack Lawless
4- Only my maternal grandparents are calling me by my second name: Marie.
5- My favorite music bands are Muse, ThirtySecondsToMars, Ocean Grove, Jonas Brothers, Dionysos and Indochine
6- Number of Muse's show i already saw.
7- i am Infographic 3D/2D student.
8- I am French
9- i speak English more than i speak French.
10- i have one young brother only and he is amazing !
11- My favorite actress is Angelina Jolie.
12- Number of my pairs of Converses, i remember to have.
13- I already met some famous people.
14- I love Joe Flanigan, Jared Leto and Nicolas Cage.
15- My guitars' names are Kimmy & Anya
17- I love taking pictures of shoes .
18- I am never wearing the same socks
19- My favorite female singers are Christa Black, Amélie-les-Crayons, Demi Lovato and Paris Carney
20- I am addicted to Japanese food.
21- I couldn't live without music.
22- My favorite sports are Snowboard and Softball.
23- I am Right Outfield in my Softball Team.
24- My Softball team is like another family to me.
25- I already almost fall asleep in the cinema.
26- My biggest dream is to be on stage throughout the world to share my music.
27- Writing in my blog and songs is like a therapy
28- ''Don't Forget to Keep the Faith and to Never Give Up 'cause A Little Bit Longer and We'll Be Fine.'' is the motto of my life.
29- I think music can really save a life.
30- I was photographer to Julian Perretta's show at Lyon and this night a fan bit me !
31- I'll never forget November 14, 2009.
32- After my studies, i'd like to live in LA.
33- I like taking pictures.
34- I can't eat sugar 'cause of a small insulin deficiency
35- I can't stand heartless people
36- I think Lady Gaga is perfect, crazy and amazing. She makes me laugh a lot.
37- I never understand the Jonas Brothers fans who dont know who the backup musicians are.
38- I love snow and winter but I get some mood problems when the weather is too grey during few months.
39- My favorite french TV Show is Kaamelott.
40- I love to play chess.
41- I have a collector Clamp chess set.
42- My favorite movies are The Saga Underworld and comedy/romance movies as Valentine's Day or The Holidays.
43- In my opinion, Hans Zimmer is the best film score composer.
44- I am crying for nothing 'cause I am very sensitive.
45- My roomie's name is Fanny.
46- I'd like to have a dog.
47- I love to take the plane.
48- It's my number in my softball team.
49- I could become lesbian to go out with the dancer Ashlee Nino.
50- I use ''SweetHeart'' about (and to) one person only.
51- My favorite sportives are Shaun White and Hannah Teter
52- My favorite song ever is Megalomania by Muse
53- Only few people knows why it's my favorite song.
54- My favorite Jonas Brothers songs are Tonight, Burnin' Up (live) and Fly With Me
55- For me A Little Bit Longer is more than a song. It's a strength, a hope.
56- The first thing i do when i wake up: checking Jack Lawless tweets.
57- I love playing poker.
58- Everybody cannot understand my personal meaning of my first tattoo. (i'll get it on April 13)
59- Only 2 or 3 persons knows the secret of my song ''If I Ain't Got You''
60- I hate crossing a rail when i am in a car/bus.
61- I am 20.
62- I really regret one thing until now: I was to lazy to accept the audition request for Glee Season 2 they sent me.
63- I am a Stargate Atlantis super fan.
64- If i could live in the Harry Potter's world, i'll be at Slytherin, friend with Draco and a Death Eaters.
65- When i am really really angry against something or someone, i go to an empty place, put on my headphones, switch on my Ipod, listen to The Kill by 30 SecondsToMars, and i scream into the darkness.
66- I am always worry for each important persons of my life. Each one knows you they are to me.
67- I never dislike Bustin Jieber's music. In fact, i have all his discography on my iPod.
68- Before i hated Taylor Swift, then i listened her music and totally felt in love to cry.
69- Lara Croft is my oldest heroine.
70- My favorite country/city in the world is Monaco
71- I am still sleeping with two stuffed animals: a Volt and a Pikachu.
72- I am addicted to Hello Kitty and already got so many stuffs.
73- I composed the majority of my songs during insomnias.
74- I have 3 books for hope and always have 2 of them in my handbag.
75- My favorite Artist (not as musician or actor) is Andy Warhol.
76- Grace Kelly represents the woman's perfect to me.
77- I have a big problem with pink color.
78- I always forgot my History dates but i always remember the shows dates i was to.
79- The longest letter i wrote took 4 pages and i needed 4 months to write it perfectly.
80- It's easier to me to explain my feelings in English than in French.
81- I am learning American Sign Language and i hope one day i could help Deaf-and-Dumb person.
82- I'd like to adopt my children.
83- I already cried while composing a song.
84- I was drummer and backup voice in a french Rock Band named Adventys.
85- I don't wanna delete my twitter account 'cause it's my only one link with him.
86- I love reading Anne Rice's books.
87- I can solve a Rubick's Cube in less a minute.
88- Generally, i am late to each rdv. (i know it's bad)
89- Few years ago, i wore black clothes and only black clothes.
90- During my Middle-School 7th Grade, i slapped a girl and my friends held me back before we fight.
91- I cried when i saw my admission to graduation.
92- I repeated a year … two times.
93- I love my blond hairs more than my brown ones.
94- I tweet and text too much.
95- I love poppy and red lily flowers.
96- I never took drugs.
97- I already felt asleep 'cause i drink too much. (btw i slept sooooo good this night xD)
98- I know Lady Gaga's Bad Romance Chorus part choreography and I am a really really bad dancer.
99- I hate when someone has the same clothes as mine.
100- I already killed an USB key 'cause i worked too much.
"'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you"
"My life would suck without you" - Kelly Clarkson
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you"
"My life would suck without you" - Kelly Clarkson
God Bless you,
All my Love.
(L)ily.
Credits: Etienne Rolland (Pictures)
16 janv. 2011
"Inception"
I don't know how to start this post.
Maybe i should speak about all my memories from the last year first, or, about my new resolutions of the new one.
Okay let's go.
2010 was … weird … Many highs and many lows happened … a few things made me so happy and so many another made me cry. But it's why a life needs to be live i think...
If i should speak about 2010... wow i don't know how to start … Okay Well …. erm … i'm reading an awesome book, and at the last of the Chapter 1 the author said it's good to make lists. So i'll compose this post chronologically and as a list =)
In January, I played my first solo show in a french pub ! I was so nervous but so happy to play some songs with my young b rother and to be with my sweet friend Jessy. For the first for a while, I saw my father be proud of me … it was a weird feeling but a good one ! This day realized he might be proud of me …!
February was a good month, I went to Paris to spent a wonderful day with my awesome friend Auré. I'll never forget this sunny day at Paris and I hope we could have another one soon.
April. Oh well April … it was the weirdest month of this year .. like really. This month I started to believe more than ever. Again and again. I feel so blessed & strong for it. I could write so many papers about this month, about every feelings, to thanks every persons who supported and helped me during all these month but especi ally during this one … I already talked about it in a previous post (“Please Get Well Soon” - posted on May 10, 2010) so I don't wanna repeat myself. But I am not able to thanks you my friends, and you my hero as you all deserve it. I am so sorry.
In May with the Adventys we p layed at a Festival and it was our last gig together. It was 3 beautiful years with you guys like really. I'm still loving you. In my heart we're staying the rock band Adventys. For this day, be on stage is one the thing I miss the most...
After the month where I learn to never give up and always believe, the one of reborn time, it's now time to speak about the month of freedom. July. Yes. After 5 years of suffering and pain at HighSchool, I'd finally been graduated ! Since this special day, my dad never look at me as before. Everything's feeling like new, perfect, and easier. It was like a new life started... After my graduation announcement, I joined my young brother for an epic night at the Antic Theater of Vienne to watch a night I waited for a while: Diana Krall + Elvis Costello. OH YEAH ! Still can't believe it ! We were first row it was just so magic !
I worked during July and the both first weeks of August then I had got a brand new job. I know... I was a bad girl to get this 2nd job because my doctor said that I must take some vacations but I took it to get more money and especially to get more change to meet him when he will come to Europe. I accepted this job because they said to me that I had to work as cashier (it's a calm job), but when I came the first day, they switched my planning to so many hard working tasks even if I worked as cashier the first day. I will not hide you the truth: It was a real fail. I wasted 6 hours standing up without any minutes to sit down even few minutes … when I finally put my ass on my car and turn on the music, I heard this song and even if it's an happy song, I cried all the tears from my body.
I cried during the road trip to get back home. It was just too much for me. My body, my mind, me couldn't continue … I was more than exhausted... I never cried like that before in my whole life... I finally drove during 1h30 instead of 45 minutes to get back home to finally explained to my parents why I won't come back to work over there and why I took this job. My mother was angry but she was so comprehensive and let me come to vacations with them.
Yes August was hard, but vacations were so blessing. I saw so many beautiful thing like the sea. I didn't saw it since 2 years and it was so relaxing. I was still worry about him as usually... I am still worry for every important persons in my life.... this is just …. me =) And yes, August was weird too about another thing that only my sweet Jessy can understand why ;)
Again 3 months to close this list of my 2010 year … I get the chance to met Julian Perretta on October 6 (and i was photographer on his first real show at Lyon), I turned 20 on October 18 and the most important thing happened during this month was: Les Miserables 25th Anniversary at London O2 Arena ! It was just a PERFECT weekend... I can't say more it was just so magic, epic, wonderful, perfect, sweet and more and more and more and more and more ! If I could i'd like to come back there right now ! For my 20 birthday I went to a sushi restaurant with June … It was the last time I saw her, I spoke to her, I slept with her …
I'm jumping directly to December, where I got not replied from her... she was my best friend and she never replied to me about my Merry Christmas & Happy New Year text messages … I am just so disappointed …
During this year, my health got some highs and lows... but I stayed strong, never stopped fighting and, especially, I kept the Faith. I just have a problem since December 'cause my glycemia is very high … and just starting for yesterday to down a bit … hope it will be back at its normal level soon 'cause these highs and lows make me angry, tired, happy, angry, tired, depressed, angry, tired, depressed, happy … –' it just so annoying and I am sure its not fun to every persons who are living around me everyday …. I am sorry guys.
My 2010 wish was to meet my hero. it's also my 2011 biggest wish. i am still hoping and praying for. with all my heart. 'cause i wanna believe that every dreams can become true one day.
I can't close my year without speaking about THE movie of the year: Inception. It was just … wow … I watched so many movies this year (1 per week min) but this one was just so … incredible ! O_O I am still like … nothing while watching it and I am currently listening the OST while writing this blogpost. First time I watched it, I realized how important are our dreams in our life …
This movie inspired me to write a new song last December...
At School I am living beside a girl who can't stop lying … Everyday she is lying more and more … That's absolutly awful that a kind of person like her can exist. I am sure she could be a great girl without lies … I just can't understand why some people needs to lie just to exist... They probably think lies are the only one way to love … They are totally wrong.
I think the only one way to love is to stay yourself, believe in yourself, and love yourself first.
At the beginning of this post, I spoke about a book I am reading. It's “God Loves Ugly (but love makes beautiful)” by the sweet and wonderful Christa Black. In less few pages, this book became the 3rd book of my lost of “Book for Hope”. It helps me to Keep the Faith more and more day by day. Sometimes, yes, I confess I lost the Faith, but I remember what my Hero Jack Lawless made for me and what Christa is writing in her book and I believe again. I know everyone is different, everyone react, live, sleep, think differently than the other persons around them. I know Christa has her own demons, you who is reading this post you have your personal ones and I have my own demons too. But if you stay strong, and you don't forget how important it's to Keep the Faith, to never Give Up and Always believe in your whole dreams then you could finally fight your demons with a huge success. Without it all we can't live in peace with ourself.
Even if my Love Bucket is empty, I don't wanna be a failure anymore. I wanna succeed. And i'll do.
I'll fight everyday to sing again, to compose many new songs, to get a chance to speak about all these things with Christa one day, and … To get a small chance to meet my hero, to hug him and say to him how much I am still blessing and helping by his tweet and his DM to me last April, to thanks him about all this strength he gave me this night and to thanks him just to be my personal powerful and hero. I'll just need few seconds. The best ever.
This year a girl named Karine put comments on my posts and I never took some minutes to answer to her so I have a special message to her: Thank you so much girl ! Currently Doctors are not able to say which is my disease … Im passing so many tests but nothing... about one special disease... about some of them but not one special one... I am still waiting. You can hear my songs on my MySpace and my Youtube Channel. Thank you so much again !
I will pray the next four months, for a men i don't know but i know his fiancée and i love her a lot. She is one of the sweetest girl i ever know and i really hope he will get back to her soon. Take Care Erwan. God Bless you. My prayers are with you.
I'd like to say that I am so sorry to everyone who were annoying about me this year, I know about what I am talking about 'cause I already spoke about it with some of you. I love you guys and still praying for you all.
Special thanks to Christa Black, Demian Arriaga, John Taylor & Rob Hoffman to take few minutes to watched my videos, listened my songs on MySpace, and of course sent me tweets to comment them all. It means a lot guys. Thank you so much.
Don't forget to Keep the Faith and to Never Give Up 'cause A Little Bit Longer and We'll Be Fine.
God Bless You.
All my Love.
Your dearest, (L)ily.
PS: if you want/need ask/write me something else, you can send me emails to asklily@live.com . I'll always reply you and i'll directly receive all your messages on my mobile.
Maybe i should speak about all my memories from the last year first, or, about my new resolutions of the new one.
Okay let's go.
2010 was … weird … Many highs and many lows happened … a few things made me so happy and so many another made me cry. But it's why a life needs to be live i think...
If i should speak about 2010... wow i don't know how to start … Okay Well …. erm … i'm reading an awesome book, and at the last of the Chapter 1 the author said it's good to make lists. So i'll compose this post chronologically and as a list =)
In January, I played my first solo show in a french pub ! I was so nervous but so happy to play some songs with my young b rother and to be with my sweet friend Jessy. For the first for a while, I saw my father be proud of me … it was a weird feeling but a good one ! This day realized he might be proud of me …!
February was a good month, I went to Paris to spent a wonderful day with my awesome friend Auré. I'll never forget this sunny day at Paris and I hope we could have another one soon.
April. Oh well April … it was the weirdest month of this year .. like really. This month I started to believe more than ever. Again and again. I feel so blessed & strong for it. I could write so many papers about this month, about every feelings, to thanks every persons who supported and helped me during all these month but especi ally during this one … I already talked about it in a previous post (“Please Get Well Soon” - posted on May 10, 2010) so I don't wanna repeat myself. But I am not able to thanks you my friends, and you my hero as you all deserve it. I am so sorry.
In May with the Adventys we p layed at a Festival and it was our last gig together. It was 3 beautiful years with you guys like really. I'm still loving you. In my heart we're staying the rock band Adventys. For this day, be on stage is one the thing I miss the most...
I miss this feeling... it's also one of my fav picture of the year.
Demian Arriaga
I liked June a lot. I went to Paris for a 2nd time to see Indochine performing a big show at Stade de France on June 25. After this weekend at Paris I never realized that i'll lost my friend June … Yes … She don't speak to me anymore … I feel like broken ... June 30 was like a rebirth night. Be on stage with ThirtySecondsToMars with my sweet and crazy friend Laurie was one of the most epic thing I never lived before.After the month where I learn to never give up and always believe, the one of reborn time, it's now time to speak about the month of freedom. July. Yes. After 5 years of suffering and pain at HighSchool, I'd finally been graduated ! Since this special day, my dad never look at me as before. Everything's feeling like new, perfect, and easier. It was like a new life started... After my graduation announcement, I joined my young brother for an epic night at the Antic Theater of Vienne to watch a night I waited for a while: Diana Krall + Elvis Costello. OH YEAH ! Still can't believe it ! We were first row it was just so magic !
I worked during July and the both first weeks of August then I had got a brand new job. I know... I was a bad girl to get this 2nd job because my doctor said that I must take some vacations but I took it to get more money and especially to get more change to meet him when he will come to Europe. I accepted this job because they said to me that I had to work as cashier (it's a calm job), but when I came the first day, they switched my planning to so many hard working tasks even if I worked as cashier the first day. I will not hide you the truth: It was a real fail. I wasted 6 hours standing up without any minutes to sit down even few minutes … when I finally put my ass on my car and turn on the music, I heard this song and even if it's an happy song, I cried all the tears from my body.
“Well, here we are again
Throwing punchlines, no one wins
As the morning sun begins to rise, we're fading fast
And we won't work this out”
"Tonight" – Jonas Brothers
Throwing punchlines, no one wins
As the morning sun begins to rise, we're fading fast
And we won't work this out”
"Tonight" – Jonas Brothers
I cried during the road trip to get back home. It was just too much for me. My body, my mind, me couldn't continue … I was more than exhausted... I never cried like that before in my whole life... I finally drove during 1h30 instead of 45 minutes to get back home to finally explained to my parents why I won't come back to work over there and why I took this job. My mother was angry but she was so comprehensive and let me come to vacations with them.
“No, we're not gonna work this out tonight
(We won't work this out)
No, we're not gonna make this right
So I'll give a kiss and say goodbye
(Give a kiss goodbye)
'Cause we're not gonna work this out
Tonight”
"Tonight" – Jonas Brothers
(We won't work this out)
No, we're not gonna make this right
So I'll give a kiss and say goodbye
(Give a kiss goodbye)
'Cause we're not gonna work this out
Tonight”
"Tonight" – Jonas Brothers
Yes August was hard, but vacations were so blessing. I saw so many beautiful thing like the sea. I didn't saw it since 2 years and it was so relaxing. I was still worry about him as usually... I am still worry for every important persons in my life.... this is just …. me =) And yes, August was weird too about another thing that only my sweet Jessy can understand why ;)
A new life is about to start...
Lady Gaga
September means the beginning of a new school year. I became a student of Esia 3D (Animation 3D, Special Effects, Videos Games and more), I got a sweet and so funny roomie named Fanny, and my sweet Jessy & I went to Paris to watch the Camp Rock 2 French Premiere. I liked it ! AND it was THE month of the Final games of the French Softball Cup ! Verdict: Card's (my team) is the 5th best team of France ! SO PROUD ! I also met an extraordinary girl who is now one of my closest friend ! I love her so much ! Thank you girl for every night, sushi time and more spent with you !Again 3 months to close this list of my 2010 year … I get the chance to met Julian Perretta on October 6 (and i was photographer on his first real show at Lyon), I turned 20 on October 18 and the most important thing happened during this month was: Les Miserables 25th Anniversary at London O2 Arena ! It was just a PERFECT weekend... I can't say more it was just so magic, epic, wonderful, perfect, sweet and more and more and more and more and more ! If I could i'd like to come back there right now ! For my 20 birthday I went to a sushi restaurant with June … It was the last time I saw her, I spoke to her, I slept with her …
Julian Perretta & I - Lyon Showcase FNAC - October 6.
I'm jumping directly to December, where I got not replied from her... she was my best friend and she never replied to me about my Merry Christmas & Happy New Year text messages … I am just so disappointed …
During this year, my health got some highs and lows... but I stayed strong, never stopped fighting and, especially, I kept the Faith. I just have a problem since December 'cause my glycemia is very high … and just starting for yesterday to down a bit … hope it will be back at its normal level soon 'cause these highs and lows make me angry, tired, happy, angry, tired, depressed, angry, tired, depressed, happy … –' it just so annoying and I am sure its not fun to every persons who are living around me everyday …. I am sorry guys.
My 2010 wish was to meet my hero. it's also my 2011 biggest wish. i am still hoping and praying for. with all my heart. 'cause i wanna believe that every dreams can become true one day.
I can't close my year without speaking about THE movie of the year: Inception. It was just … wow … I watched so many movies this year (1 per week min) but this one was just so … incredible ! O_O I am still like … nothing while watching it and I am currently listening the OST while writing this blogpost. First time I watched it, I realized how important are our dreams in our life …
This movie inspired me to write a new song last December...
“Like Leonardo in his movie
I wanna make it
Put It in your head
As it could be yours
But I confess
it's my
Inception to you.”
Inception – Lily'C
I wanna make it
Put It in your head
As it could be yours
But I confess
it's my
Inception to you.”
Inception – Lily'C
At School I am living beside a girl who can't stop lying … Everyday she is lying more and more … That's absolutly awful that a kind of person like her can exist. I am sure she could be a great girl without lies … I just can't understand why some people needs to lie just to exist... They probably think lies are the only one way to love … They are totally wrong.
I think the only one way to love is to stay yourself, believe in yourself, and love yourself first.
“The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”
Nature Boy – Eden Ahbez / Nat King Cole
Nature Boy – Eden Ahbez / Nat King Cole
At the beginning of this post, I spoke about a book I am reading. It's “God Loves Ugly (but love makes beautiful)” by the sweet and wonderful Christa Black. In less few pages, this book became the 3rd book of my lost of “Book for Hope”. It helps me to Keep the Faith more and more day by day. Sometimes, yes, I confess I lost the Faith, but I remember what my Hero Jack Lawless made for me and what Christa is writing in her book and I believe again. I know everyone is different, everyone react, live, sleep, think differently than the other persons around them. I know Christa has her own demons, you who is reading this post you have your personal ones and I have my own demons too. But if you stay strong, and you don't forget how important it's to Keep the Faith, to never Give Up and Always believe in your whole dreams then you could finally fight your demons with a huge success. Without it all we can't live in peace with ourself.
It's easier to hide our pains behind a smile...
Christa Black
Christa's book makes me realize how important are these things, how important are these demons inside me, inside my heart. These ones who are killing me day by day for a while.Even if my Love Bucket is empty, I don't wanna be a failure anymore. I wanna succeed. And i'll do.
I'll fight everyday to sing again, to compose many new songs, to get a chance to speak about all these things with Christa one day, and … To get a small chance to meet my hero, to hug him and say to him how much I am still blessing and helping by his tweet and his DM to me last April, to thanks him about all this strength he gave me this night and to thanks him just to be my personal powerful and hero. I'll just need few seconds. The best ever.
“I'll Give my whole life
To get this chance
One minute only
The perfect one.
I wanna lost my mind into your arms
I'll leave this place
Take this flight finally
I won't get back
This one way only.”
“One Way Only” - Lily'C
To get this chance
One minute only
The perfect one.
I wanna lost my mind into your arms
I'll leave this place
Take this flight finally
I won't get back
This one way only.”
“One Way Only” - Lily'C
This year a girl named Karine put comments on my posts and I never took some minutes to answer to her so I have a special message to her: Thank you so much girl ! Currently Doctors are not able to say which is my disease … Im passing so many tests but nothing... about one special disease... about some of them but not one special one... I am still waiting. You can hear my songs on my MySpace and my Youtube Channel. Thank you so much again !
I will pray the next four months, for a men i don't know but i know his fiancée and i love her a lot. She is one of the sweetest girl i ever know and i really hope he will get back to her soon. Take Care Erwan. God Bless you. My prayers are with you.
I'd like to say that I am so sorry to everyone who were annoying about me this year, I know about what I am talking about 'cause I already spoke about it with some of you. I love you guys and still praying for you all.
Special thanks to Christa Black, Demian Arriaga, John Taylor & Rob Hoffman to take few minutes to watched my videos, listened my songs on MySpace, and of course sent me tweets to comment them all. It means a lot guys. Thank you so much.
“Always sing from your soul, be you and stay honest.”
From Demian Arriaga to me.
Don't worry Demian i'll never forget it.
From Demian Arriaga to me.
Don't worry Demian i'll never forget it.
I Won't Stop Believe...
My Hero. Jack Lawless.
Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart my dear friends.Don't forget to Keep the Faith and to Never Give Up 'cause A Little Bit Longer and We'll Be Fine.
God Bless You.
All my Love.
Your dearest, (L)ily.
PS: if you want/need ask/write me something else, you can send me emails to asklily@live.com . I'll always reply you and i'll directly receive all your messages on my mobile.
25 nov. 2010
Happy Thanksgiving.
Wow ! it becomes to be a tradition there. haha x) it's just really important to me to try to thanks everyone. I'd like to put a message to all the important persons into my life but i can't ... why ? simply 'cause these persons already knows how much i love 'em and i am so grateful and thankful to have them in my life and my heart.
Thanks to my family to trust in me and support me everyday.
Thanks to all my friends. Thank you so much everyone for everything. i am so thankful and blessed to have you all !
Thanks to everyone you believe that even me i was able to be graduate. and I AM ! =D
Thanks to all my followers on Twitter and readers,and everyone else who are watching my videos on my Youtube Channel ^^
Thanks to Muse, Jonas Brothers, Christa Black, Paris Carney, John Taylor, Ryan Liestman and of course Jack Lawless for your music, your messages to me, your hope and your strength into it.
Special Thanks to Gregory Garbowsky to tweet my friend Elyse. It was so awesome ! and i know how important it means to her.
My Simple win of the day -> try to explain my gratitude for yall into my thankful.
Pray for everyone you love. Today i pray for all of you.
Don't forget to Keep The Faith and to Never Give Up 'cause I Little Bit Longer and We'll be Fine. Always believe in your dreams.
Undying Thank you.
All my Love.
God Bless you All !
Lily
Thanks to my family to trust in me and support me everyday.
Thanks to all my friends. Thank you so much everyone for everything. i am so thankful and blessed to have you all !
Thanks to everyone you believe that even me i was able to be graduate. and I AM ! =D
Thanks to all my followers on Twitter and readers,and everyone else who are watching my videos on my Youtube Channel ^^
Thanks to Muse, Jonas Brothers, Christa Black, Paris Carney, John Taylor, Ryan Liestman and of course Jack Lawless for your music, your messages to me, your hope and your strength into it.
Special Thanks to Gregory Garbowsky to tweet my friend Elyse. It was so awesome ! and i know how important it means to her.
My Simple win of the day -> try to explain my gratitude for yall into my thankful.
Pray for everyone you love. Today i pray for all of you.
Don't forget to Keep The Faith and to Never Give Up 'cause I Little Bit Longer and We'll be Fine. Always believe in your dreams.
Undying Thank you.
All my Love.
God Bless you All !
Lily
23 nov. 2010
Carried Away
Started: November 22. 2010.
November 18 was 4 days ago … it means 1 year without her already. Yes. Even 1 year later and i am still missing her so much.
Unknowing and disappointment are the appropriate words.
One Year I wrote some posts about you. About our good time and the bad ones too. I dont regret and I assume anything I said, wrote or thought. I am proud to have been her friend.
I just still can't believe that you left me one year ago.
One year ago exactly today was my last day beside you.
November 22, 2009. Lyon. Muse.
October 23, 2009, I wrote on this blog; “But ... Since two days, she didnt not answer me. No Message. Nothing. I cant believe it ! I love her sooo much ! i cant live w/o her ! I Miss her so far ! T.T” I didn't have idea about what will happen one month later … but I was right 'cause she commented: “Woaw.......... I'm just...crying. What could I say after that ? Just ..I love you =) "Don't want to fall asleep, 'cause I don't know if I'll get up, but I'm dying without your love..." but i know I'm loved, I know it, and I'll never foget. And "don't foget, to take a breath =D" I LOVE YOU MY SIL !!!! “
Sometimes I think that I am a real stupid and weak girl.
Stupid to believe that she could be a real friend. That we will be there to each other to some many years again and again …
But finally … after a long text message you wrote:
'Sorry for breaking all the promises I wasnt around to keep.'
Yes, sometimes it's really hard to forget a friendship … I don't why. Maybe 'cause I am so stupid and believe her. She said that everything she said to me was right but how can I be sure ?
I saw some recent updates from her Facebook page … She listened them again. One year later.
I don't wanna know if she misses me. It was her choice not mine. I hope she knows how much I still love her even if I am not sure to be ready for her come back on my life.
Wow I just realized that I am still speaking about her in my posts … I don't why really. Maybe it's a good thing to forget her. Or to get her in my life... How could i know ? Who could really know ?
... to feel Free.
I am still learning the American Sign Language . I hope one day I could sign well to share my music and so many other stuffs with more new people !
Maybe i'll upload a post in sign language soon or/and maybe one of my songs too.
Let me introduce to you an so sweet girl. Her name is Ashley and she's deaf and sign language and she makes so many moved video on Youtube !
My favs are “Fly With Me” and “A Little Bit Longer” but I let you discover all these upsetting videos.
I'd like to help deaf persons to enjoy a better life. Of course I 'd like to help dumb and blind persons too but I fell closer to deaf persons than the other ones. I remember when I was young and my mom talked to me about her children dream, the lost one: Learning the sign language to help deaf persons. But in the past, these kind of studies where far away from her current place and too expensive so she become music teacher and I am so proud of her !
Anyway, thank you so much to Paris Carney. If she read these lines she'll know why. You're such an awesome, sweet and talented girl. Don't pay attention to haters and spammers Paris. Stay yourself and you'll see they will get out of your space very quickly. I am sure. Stay strong and don't forget to Keep the Faith everyday. (and thanks so much for your post on your Tumblr for the lyrics)
I'm still composing music and i've got 2 new upcoming songs !
Don't forget to check out my original songs on my MySpace Page and many covers on my Youtube channel.
Thank you so much everyone. Thanks for believing, hoping and supporting. I know I am not happy too much these last weeks. Hope you'll forgive me.
A little message to one of the most incredible girl of my life: <4
I must get back to the hospital next week (Dec. 2) to see a doctor, so I don't know if I'll post 'til this day. I just wanna believe that everything's gonna be okay. Don't forget to Keep the Faith and to Never Give Up 'cause A Little Bit Longer and We'll Be Fine.
Always believe in your dreams.
God Bless you.
With all my love.
(L)ily.
Pictures: Paris Carney.
November 18 was 4 days ago … it means 1 year without her already. Yes. Even 1 year later and i am still missing her so much.
Unknowing and disappointment are the appropriate words.
One Year I wrote some posts about you. About our good time and the bad ones too. I dont regret and I assume anything I said, wrote or thought. I am proud to have been her friend.
I just still can't believe that you left me one year ago.
One year ago exactly today was my last day beside you.
November 22, 2009. Lyon. Muse.
October 23, 2009, I wrote on this blog; “But ... Since two days, she didnt not answer me. No Message. Nothing. I cant believe it ! I love her sooo much ! i cant live w/o her ! I Miss her so far ! T.T” I didn't have idea about what will happen one month later … but I was right 'cause she commented: “Woaw.......... I'm just...crying. What could I say after that ? Just ..I love you =) "Don't want to fall asleep, 'cause I don't know if I'll get up, but I'm dying without your love..." but i know I'm loved, I know it, and I'll never foget. And "don't foget, to take a breath =D" I LOVE YOU MY SIL !!!! “
Sometimes I think that I am a real stupid and weak girl.
Stupid to believe that she could be a real friend. That we will be there to each other to some many years again and again …
But finally … after a long text message you wrote:
'Sorry for breaking all the promises I wasnt around to keep.'
Yes, sometimes it's really hard to forget a friendship … I don't why. Maybe 'cause I am so stupid and believe her. She said that everything she said to me was right but how can I be sure ?
I saw some recent updates from her Facebook page … She listened them again. One year later.
I don't wanna know if she misses me. It was her choice not mine. I hope she knows how much I still love her even if I am not sure to be ready for her come back on my life.
Wow I just realized that I am still speaking about her in my posts … I don't why really. Maybe it's a good thing to forget her. Or to get her in my life... How could i know ? Who could really know ?
You’ve opened up my heart
to something I never thought
that I could be a part of
And now it’s very clear,
Now that you’re standing here,
You are all I’ve wanted
"Carried Away" - Paris Carney
to something I never thought
that I could be a part of
And now it’s very clear,
Now that you’re standing here,
You are all I’ve wanted
"Carried Away" - Paris Carney
Get carried away...
... to feel Free.
Maybe i'll upload a post in sign language soon or/and maybe one of my songs too.
Let me introduce to you an so sweet girl. Her name is Ashley and she's deaf and sign language and she makes so many moved video on Youtube !
My favs are “Fly With Me” and “A Little Bit Longer” but I let you discover all these upsetting videos.
I'd like to help deaf persons to enjoy a better life. Of course I 'd like to help dumb and blind persons too but I fell closer to deaf persons than the other ones. I remember when I was young and my mom talked to me about her children dream, the lost one: Learning the sign language to help deaf persons. But in the past, these kind of studies where far away from her current place and too expensive so she become music teacher and I am so proud of her !
Anyway, thank you so much to Paris Carney. If she read these lines she'll know why. You're such an awesome, sweet and talented girl. Don't pay attention to haters and spammers Paris. Stay yourself and you'll see they will get out of your space very quickly. I am sure. Stay strong and don't forget to Keep the Faith everyday. (and thanks so much for your post on your Tumblr for the lyrics)
Jealousy will eat you up,
When you think you’re not enough
Just look inside and you will find,
Its a lie.
"Carried Away" - Paris Carney
When you think you’re not enough
Just look inside and you will find,
Its a lie.
"Carried Away" - Paris Carney
Get Carried Away...
...while making music.
I'm still composing music and i've got 2 new upcoming songs !
Don't forget to check out my original songs on my MySpace Page and many covers on my Youtube channel.
Thank you so much everyone. Thanks for believing, hoping and supporting. I know I am not happy too much these last weeks. Hope you'll forgive me.
A little message to one of the most incredible girl of my life: <4
I must get back to the hospital next week (Dec. 2) to see a doctor, so I don't know if I'll post 'til this day. I just wanna believe that everything's gonna be okay. Don't forget to Keep the Faith and to Never Give Up 'cause A Little Bit Longer and We'll Be Fine.
Always believe in your dreams.
God Bless you.
With all my love.
(L)ily.
Pictures: Paris Carney.
13 nov. 2010
"Apparently I'm beautiful [...] And I wouldn't change a thing. "
Hope is Life.
There those days where you realized how lucky you are even if you thought you was not. There those days where you wanna leave your current place and go far away. There those days when you realized you need just love in your life.
I know how much lucky i am. I need just love in my life. Just this little thing but i dont give up and continue to live without it. I don't know if someone can live without love. I mean ... The real one. Not friendship. The real love. The one where your heart feels so good everyday, where your smile is coming upon your face everytime when you heard his name, his voice, or saw his face. id like to find it but i thing that i am too afraid. Trust me guys ! Don't be afraid of love ! Don't be like me. I am not a good example. I always told to a boy: ''oh .. no ... erm ... sorry ... i am not free.'' it was stupid and perfectly immature ....
These last months i am not a good blogger 'cause i was very busy.
Many things changed in my life until April.
First i was graduated and started my new studies about FX, Animation, videogames etc...
I met so many new awesome people but i realized how people really are and sometimes it's not some good things. Oh ! no sorry ! it's more "persons" instead of "things"
Well i think that everybody cant love everyone but i think i am not stupid. I can saw when someone is a fake person. Stop lying guys ! Why are you lying too much ? Do you think it's better like that ? Do you think you gonna be a better person behind lies ? Are you too ashamed of yourself to tell the truth ? I can't believe these kind of persons who lie to "exist".
YOU are fake, fake, fake ! i need to tell you STOP ! It's becoming so ridiculous !
I saw a cardiologist 2 months ago, he said that my heart aches existed because i get the Tietze's Syndrome ... it's an infection of the sternum and rib cartilage that causes pressure on my chest... i am waiting a new rendezvous with a special doctor for a cure. French Medical system really sucks a lot!
But i keep the smile about it ! i am sure one day it will be okay and i could eat everything i want etc ... =) i wanna stay optimistic and strong !
" I'm feeling kind of crazy
I think maybe I'm in love
And I wanna turn the music up
Tip back my cup and drink it all in deep
'Cause there's no place on earth I'd rather be"
"California Sunshine" - Christa Black
I think maybe I'm in love
And I wanna turn the music up
Tip back my cup and drink it all in deep
'Cause there's no place on earth I'd rather be"
"California Sunshine" - Christa Black
I made an incredible trip to London with my dear friend Jessy to see the 25th Anniversary of Les Miserables, the musical. It was like a month at London but we were there something like 2 days only ! Just AWESOME !
Normally i didnt make advertisement on this special place but i wanna make an exception.
I wanna share with you the work of a really awesome non profit organization named: ALittle Bit Longer ! Since few months they try to do their best to help the research about all the incurable disease !! HELP Them too please ! Thank you ALittle Bit Longer to believe and work so hard everyday.
Networking:
Blogspot
Life is a gift. as John Taylor will said now: Life is awesome.
Few days ago, someone i love wrote me: "One "!" can change a whole message."
And she is right about it !
His message was not the same without this lil' thing... Everything were different i think.
"This is critical
I'm feeling helpless
So hysterical, this can't be healthy
I can't eat or sleep
When you're not with me
Baby, you're the air i breath
This is critical, yeah
So stuck on you "
"Critical" - Nick Jonas
I'm feeling helpless
So hysterical, this can't be healthy
I can't eat or sleep
When you're not with me
Baby, you're the air i breath
This is critical, yeah
So stuck on you "
"Critical" - Nick Jonas
One year ago (+ one week), i'll back from Zurich and posted a post about this weird but finally funny weekend with you girls !
Wow ! It was on year ago already ... I can't believe it ! Time flies too fast !
But right now, one year ago i was in a late train from Lyon to Antwerp ! and tomorrow we'll be November 14 ! How could I forget this day ? it was one of the best day ever ! i know, i am SO lucky to meet Nick, Joe & Kevin and to be at the Soundcheck party =)
How could I forget this moment ? This moment shared with him at the end of the show, this short time shared with him which made me forget all my problems, which made me forget everything except him and what he means to me ...
I could talk about this moment again and again ... =')
It stucks in my heat everyday.
Because this is THE word about him.
I spoke with a girl who said to me that she is so jealous 'cause i met Nick, Joe & Kevin last year. After she said to me that she met Jack two times ! I know i am so lucky to meet Joe, Nick & Kevin but girl, do you realize how lucky you are into my eyes ? I could give all i have to see him just one minute. To have just one minute with him. Even less than one minute. I'd like to say to him how grateful i am about all he gave to me last April and this special night. He is my hero. More than Nick ... More than Matt. Why ? Simply 'cause even the others are so sweet, Jack was a real guardian angel to me... I think i could never thanks him as he deserves it ... that's bad. I really hope one day i could hug him and say to him all these things.
"Were Venus and Mars
Venus and Mars
Were like different stars
Like different stars
But your the harmony to every song I sing,
And I wouldn't change a thing."
"Wouldn't Change a Thing" - Demi Lovato & Joe Jonas.
Venus and Mars
Were like different stars
Like different stars
But your the harmony to every song I sing,
And I wouldn't change a thing."
"Wouldn't Change a Thing" - Demi Lovato & Joe Jonas.
Oooh and a last awesome weird thing: I turned 20 last month ! Time flies really really fast !
I remember when i was young *_*
When i was i had a dream: have a Christmas with all my family like a real Christmas ! and this year this dream could become true ! Thanks so much to my Mom ! i really really hope it will become true. My aunt is really weak and i am so afraid to her and i wanna pass this Christmas with her. it will be so magic...
"And i always believed there's magic on christmas eve
Then Santa comes round, & im so glad we found this love we swore to keep
And we walk in the snow, letting our troubles go
To a far away place so that we embrace christmas spirit all around and i say
Merry Merry Christmas... today"
"What Would Christmas be like ?" - Mia Rose
Then Santa comes round, & im so glad we found this love we swore to keep
And we walk in the snow, letting our troubles go
To a far away place so that we embrace christmas spirit all around and i say
Merry Merry Christmas... today"
"What Would Christmas be like ?" - Mia Rose
A special thanks to all of you who support me everyday during my highs and lows. you are all so awesome with me that's incredible ! =')
Another special thanks to my two new friends Lea & Mick, welcome to my life and i am so sorry you are coming during a low , and i am so sorry to be without smile these last days.
A special thanks to my friends Jessy, JessiK and my sweetie Garbow who are there for me everyday and she knows who grateful i am about them. I hope so !
A Last special thanks to Christa Black 'cause her music helps me so much to get a motivation and to Keep the Faith.
Don't forget to Keep the Faith and to Never Give Up 'cause A Little Bit Longer and We'll be Fine. Always believe in your dreams.
"But God loves ugly
He doesn't see the way I see
Oh, God takes ugly
And turns it into something that is beautiful
Apparently I'm beautiful
'Cause You love me"
"God Loves Ugly" - Christa Black
He doesn't see the way I see
Oh, God takes ugly
And turns it into something that is beautiful
Apparently I'm beautiful
'Cause You love me"
"God Loves Ugly" - Christa Black
God Bless you.
With all my love.
(L)ily.
Pictures: Christa Black - Jack Lawless
With all my love.
(L)ily.
Pictures: Christa Black - Jack Lawless
10 mai 2010
Please get well soon!
It's great to never forget the best time with a person we love.
First, I was at the cinema with my brother few weeks ago, and I saw an ex-colleague I was in love with but like the life is made I can't love him 'cause it's not a great thing for me, for my heart. He's not single and certainly he already forgot me btw. When I saw him, all the world around crashed. But I had the idea to write a new song ''If I Ain't Got You'', I'll not hide you that I cried by writing it. It's one of my fav I already composed. It speaks about my feelings about two special persons. Two special persons I can love but that's all.
Next week, I was at hospital for 1 week instead of 3 days for the long test I already mentioned. it was a hard week and it's during those hard moments that some dreams could come true.
Yes, Trust me Seriously.
I explain you: Tuesday night, i watched Dr House on my Tv and tweeted ''Watching Dr. House when you're at the hospital is … very weird'' (or something like that) and one episode later i tweeted to Jack: ''@JackLawless: Jack...'' and i saw a yellow @reply window just before my last tweet. IT WAS A TWEET FROM HIM ! Oh my God ! I didn't realize ! First I thought it was a poser one but I read: “J.A.C.K.L.A.W.L.E.S.S.”. I couldn't say anything, my tears were speaking for me. He's the best Sweet Heart ever for me ! I still can't believe it ! That's just unbelievable ! I feel so blessed. It was a real deliverance to read this tweet from him. In my problems I had a chance finally. My heart felt better instantly and I couldn't stop smiling. I thanked God to be with me and to heard my prayers. And I still couldn't stop crying. But I continued to read it and thanks everyone again and again. This thing never could happen without them.
Just this tweet make my heart feel much better, even today when I read it.
I hope you are doing ok.
Please get well soon! "
From Jack Lawless to I on Twitter.
I read all the @replies from my friends and myself to him but NOBODY spoke about me at the hospital. O_O it means that he came on my Twitter profile maybe.... I don't know. That's the miracle of this night. But It's not the main question. The most important thing ever is the strength he gave me this night. Another night which is better because of him. At this moment, this Tuesday April 13th night, I realized that EVERY dreams could become true ! Never Give up Guys ! At this moment, this Tuesday April 13th night, I never imagined what will happen two days later. After his tweet I decide to write him another letter to thanks him about his tweet and the strength he gave me with just few words. 'cause finally it's just a tweet. Just 20 words. 140 characters. But the best strength that someone like me needs ! It's very great for the heart to know that the person you admire ask you to get well soon ! So I decided to write this new letter to him, a very short one that I wanna send with a new copy of the old one. A new one just to say ''thank you for the tweet and more''. I wrote it Thursday April 15th and when I had finished it I check out my BlackBerry and saw a new Email:
''Direct Message From Jack Lawless''
At this moment, I had the feeling that my heart stop beating a few. It was just more unbelievable than the tweet.
I read it and crying so much.
Dear readers, Jack had read my letter and DMed me to say me thank you for it, and ''it was very sweet!'' he explained me why I read it just now (I sent it in February) and he said me “Please Get well soon!'' again...
Just speaking about it make me smile and my tears are back …
What did obligated him to write me those two messages ? Nothing. Nothing obligated him. I think he wrote with his heart a few. What do you think about 'em ?
You know if I close my eyes I can see these smiles to me at Antwerp. If I Close my eyes, I can be back at Antwerp and even if it's not great for me I stay in this world just because its my perfect world.
“This song is for you two.
How could I say you ?
Don't forget it
If one day you hear it.
Writing, singing, playing, once again.
If I Ain't Got You
Smiling, laughing, praying, once again.
If I Ain't Got You.”
"If I Ain't got you" - Lily'C
I dedicate this one to my friend Elise.
I was out of the hospital the next Friday and what I saw when I was back at home: No train, no planes in all over the Europe ! What the fuck ? Stupid Volcano I'd like to go to see my family in the South of France and to make a break with my life here but I was stuck at home.
But next important (and truly weird) thing happened one week later this new one which started. Next Tuesday everybody learns the big Jonas Brothers' announcement about the World Tour and Wednesday afternoon I received a text message from … Her … She sent me a sweet text to ask me how's my school year, if I'm fine and what happen in my life … I was just like that → O_O (lmao). I spoke about this text with some friends and one told me that maybe she wrote me just because of the World Tour announcement … I thought of this idea and maybe she's right. You'll see if she answer me.
The same day I saw a new doctor because the previous one give up her cabinet. (so great –') 'cause since I was back from the hospital I feel so bad. Big big stomachaches, and palpitations more and more again. The new doctor gave me two new drugs (for my stomachaches and some vitamins) and a sonogram to know if that's because of my stomach or my pancreas. Bad new if it's my stomach.... Very bad thing … and very hard one. I hope it's ''just'' my pancreas... Even if it's my pancreas I currently don't know what this thing is.
Last week, I decided to be online on msn and a “friend” come to speak with me … at the beginning he was so cool and sweet with and suddenly he said me that everybody think that i'm a poser, not sick, and I said everything just to tell many liar ! How a friend can think something like that really ? What the hell ? I didn't sleep this night. I cried so much. I wasn't offended just sad because of I think he was my friend … Since this day, I'm afraid of everyone around me at school … last week was hard too. People speak less with me. I don't why. It hurts me so bad. But I must live like that so I do it.
I'm not a mistake, I'm not a fake, It's set in my DNA
Don't change me
I can't be tamed. "
"Can't Be Tamed" - Miley Cyrus
I can't stop say to myself these lines to try to don't give up, even if i see the finish line move away from me day by day. I continue to reach out to try to catch it.
" Turn Right
Into my Arms
Turn Right
You won't be alone
You might
Fall off this track sometimes
Hope to see you on the finish line. "
"Turn Right" - Jonas Brothers
Today, Friday May 10th , I received all my results from the hospital (yes yes one month later really !) and the doctor of the hospital send me to see another new one again … By the way, the problems are not from my stomach finally so … pancreas ? I'll know soon. I hope. I promise to get well soon and i'll do it !
In this last paragraph I wanna thanks every persons who support me, who write me when i'm sad, who tweet Jack about me again today, it's very important for me and you're SO awesome with me that's incredible.I wanna thanks every persons who watched my last cover of Lady Gaga – Paparazzi, 7,000 views in one week I can't believe it ! O_O and I wanna thanks every persons who voted for my blog on NickJonasFrance.org because I was the WebTop of this last month !
I'll conclude this new blogpost while saying to you to don't forget to ALWAYS Keep The Faith and to NEVER Give up ! First because i'm pretty sure that A Little Bit Longer and We'll Be Fine and because of EVERY dreams could become true one day, it's enough to believe in them everytime with your heart. I think I can say i'm a great example of this way.
Thanks you so much from the Bottom of my heart everyone.
God Bless You All.
All my Love.
(L)ily.
PS: I don't copy/paste you the Jack's DM because I think if he DM me it was because of something private and I wanna respect his choice. Hope your understand mine.
12 mars 2010
"You always want a song about you"
114 days. 114 days ago you told me that you broke your promises to me. 114 days since our last REAL conversation. 114 days ago, I never thought of everything happened. Alone in my car into our favorite landscape. Alone to do shopping. Tonight, I remember these months with you. Smiling. Happiness. Freedom. I was your Demi & you were my Selly. There are things which we can't share with anyone else. This song is for you, you know ? No sure you don't. Why ? 'cause you was late at my first solo show. I dedicated you this song 'cause yes you ARE it … I don't know if you'll read this blogpost one day, I don't know if you'll hear this song, but I continue to sing it. Again and again. If you'll come back in my life one day, I'm sure that i'll open you my arms... Why ? 'cause I'm still in love with you.
I don't write all that to feel you guilty as you could think it but only to alleviate my heart.
“ Now you're far away
You let me on this way
I can't hold you back
This is your choice
Don't Forget me, Don't forget us
You always want a song about you
And now that's true. “
“Just Friends” - Lily'C
So STOP IT NOW ! I must to forget you even if these days with you were amazing and the last summer was one of the best ever, I need to have my own way with success and happiness and it's without you. Even if I grew up during these months without you. I grew up without you 'cause I need to do it without you.
Only the future will say it to us.
To be continued …
“ The time that you danced with me
With no music playing i remember those simple things
I remember till i cry
But the one thing i wish i'd forget
A memory i wanna forget
Is goodbye “
Goodbye – Miley Cyrus
How could I explain you my current feeling. I realize now how this family is important for me. This special weekend they were just 2 of it but that was so fucking great ! I think I need some changes in my life. I know I already have many many of 'em these last months but I need to have some positive things. Like this weekend. I went to skiing last holidays, I think that was a such first great thing even if I was very weak when I snowboarded. And this day at Paris was very very incredible and great for my mind.
I was back at the hospital just for one rendez-vous with my doctor. She told me that I should come during 3 days to be a long test. I hate hospital it's so bored … But I know that I could be better one day even if sometimes that's hard 'cause when I swim or when I run in Softball, I'm weak very quickly.
This month I discovered something: At HighSchool during the lunch time one boy drank a Sprite beside me and I realized that I forgot the smells and the taste of it ! I start to forget the taste of Nutella too or many other things. That's weird but I must to live with, or rather, without these products.
Maybe some of you are right and maybe I just need love in my life. A person who will say me everyday that he loves me for who I am.
“ I’m shaking it off, I’m shaking off all of the pain.
Breaking my heart, breaking my heart once again
I want someone to love me
For who I am
I want someone to need me
Is that so bad? “
“Who I Am” - Nick Jonas & The Administration
These last weeks i've another weird feeling that I can't explain well … How could I explain my feelings about her ? I don't know, I just know that's not a jealous feelings. It's like a protection feeling. She seems too frivolous for him. I saw the pain into these eyes on every new photos. The light does not shine anymore into these eyes like this night when he looked at me...
“ I'm confused” why ? Why did you tweeted it ? Why were you confused ? I feel that he's sad and not ok, and I can't help him. That's very frustrated ! I can just pray for him and I do it. He deserve the best, that's all. I really wanna meet him just to hug him and say something important. I hope one day I could do it. I don't know why but I've the feeling that if I sing more maybe he'll hear me … so I'll sing for him. 118 days ago … Longtime since the last one but more closed days after days to the next one. Cannot wait to see you all again !
By the way, I tried to write him a letter but I was many problems 'cause it's very hard to write his heart one a white page. I wanna tell him all the hope and the strength he gaves me this night at this special moment but I didn't arrive to write well. But I received a photo of him and my heart has been heated by a special one so finally I finished my letter (oups … 4 pages … haha !) I hope he'll read it even if he never answers me … if he reads it that's a flawless (?) thing.
'cause music is the best way for my heart
My last paragraph is for you all my readers ! Thanks to read and comment my posts. Thanks for your help and your support. Don't forget to Keep the Faith. Yes to Keep to Faith 'cause I thing that even for the persons who are not believers, it's a very important thing. “Keep the Faith” … There's so much things into this sentence, so much of hope, so much of strength. It's a thing which I'd like to make comprehensible to many people who does not understand that or does not even tolerate it. It's not a religious way first, it's just a question of principle, a heart way. It's one thing that carries us and guide us … I know that to tell me it, helps me everyday and I'd like to help each others with it.
God Bless You,
Lily.
More:
New Layout & new organization for my posts: One per page.
Banner made by Perrine (Twitter - NickJonasFrance)
Vote for me on NickJonasFrance's WebTob (I'm first ! and if i win this blog will be on the main page for one month. I think it's a great opportunity to share my Simple Win.)
New MySpace Layout too -- Here --
I don't write all that to feel you guilty as you could think it but only to alleviate my heart.
“ Now you're far away
You let me on this way
I can't hold you back
This is your choice
Don't Forget me, Don't forget us
You always want a song about you
And now that's true. “
“Just Friends” - Lily'C
So STOP IT NOW ! I must to forget you even if these days with you were amazing and the last summer was one of the best ever, I need to have my own way with success and happiness and it's without you. Even if I grew up during these months without you. I grew up without you 'cause I need to do it without you.
Only the future will say it to us.
To be continued …
“ The time that you danced with me
With no music playing i remember those simple things
I remember till i cry
But the one thing i wish i'd forget
A memory i wanna forget
Is goodbye “
Goodbye – Miley Cyrus
How could I explain you my current feeling. I realize now how this family is important for me. This special weekend they were just 2 of it but that was so fucking great ! I think I need some changes in my life. I know I already have many many of 'em these last months but I need to have some positive things. Like this weekend. I went to skiing last holidays, I think that was a such first great thing even if I was very weak when I snowboarded. And this day at Paris was very very incredible and great for my mind.
V for Victory.
I was back at the hospital just for one rendez-vous with my doctor. She told me that I should come during 3 days to be a long test. I hate hospital it's so bored … But I know that I could be better one day even if sometimes that's hard 'cause when I swim or when I run in Softball, I'm weak very quickly.
This month I discovered something: At HighSchool during the lunch time one boy drank a Sprite beside me and I realized that I forgot the smells and the taste of it ! I start to forget the taste of Nutella too or many other things. That's weird but I must to live with, or rather, without these products.
Maybe some of you are right and maybe I just need love in my life. A person who will say me everyday that he loves me for who I am.
“ I’m shaking it off, I’m shaking off all of the pain.
Breaking my heart, breaking my heart once again
I want someone to love me
For who I am
I want someone to need me
Is that so bad? “
“Who I Am” - Nick Jonas & The Administration
These last weeks i've another weird feeling that I can't explain well … How could I explain my feelings about her ? I don't know, I just know that's not a jealous feelings. It's like a protection feeling. She seems too frivolous for him. I saw the pain into these eyes on every new photos. The light does not shine anymore into these eyes like this night when he looked at me...
“ I'm confused” why ? Why did you tweeted it ? Why were you confused ? I feel that he's sad and not ok, and I can't help him. That's very frustrated ! I can just pray for him and I do it. He deserve the best, that's all. I really wanna meet him just to hug him and say something important. I hope one day I could do it. I don't know why but I've the feeling that if I sing more maybe he'll hear me … so I'll sing for him. 118 days ago … Longtime since the last one but more closed days after days to the next one. Cannot wait to see you all again !
By the way, I tried to write him a letter but I was many problems 'cause it's very hard to write his heart one a white page. I wanna tell him all the hope and the strength he gaves me this night at this special moment but I didn't arrive to write well. But I received a photo of him and my heart has been heated by a special one so finally I finished my letter (oups … 4 pages … haha !) I hope he'll read it even if he never answers me … if he reads it that's a flawless (?) thing.
'cause music is the best way for my heart
My last paragraph is for you all my readers ! Thanks to read and comment my posts. Thanks for your help and your support. Don't forget to Keep the Faith. Yes to Keep to Faith 'cause I thing that even for the persons who are not believers, it's a very important thing. “Keep the Faith” … There's so much things into this sentence, so much of hope, so much of strength. It's a thing which I'd like to make comprehensible to many people who does not understand that or does not even tolerate it. It's not a religious way first, it's just a question of principle, a heart way. It's one thing that carries us and guide us … I know that to tell me it, helps me everyday and I'd like to help each others with it.
God Bless You,
Lily.
More:
New Layout & new organization for my posts: One per page.
Banner made by Perrine (Twitter - NickJonasFrance)
Vote for me on NickJonasFrance's WebTob (I'm first ! and if i win this blog will be on the main page for one month. I think it's a great opportunity to share my Simple Win.)
New MySpace Layout too -- Here --
8 janv. 2010
"Today We Gather Because We have Chosen Hope over Fear"
“In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations."
Barack Obama
“Today We Gather Because We have Chosen Hope over Fear”
- Inaugural Address – Janv. 20th 2009 -
“Today We Gather Because We have Chosen Hope over Fear”
- Inaugural Address – Janv. 20th 2009 -
We're January 1st 2010 when i began this blogpost. So first: Happy New Year !
For this new year eve I was in the South of France, with my parents, my brother and a friend family. This afternoon we saw the first sunset of the year, of 2010, of this new decade and it was wonderful. Finally 2010 starts great even if 2009 miss the end badly. These last days were hard even if my faith stay the same but my strength leaves me day after day. My seizures are more frequent than the other weeks and more important too. My last problem is my hands. When I play piano they become very hard and cant continue to play during few minutes, when they're ok I can play again and I play again and again. I close my eyes and I play. I love to just hear. Btw my results doesnt be at home again... WTF ? I cant be better without 'em and my doctor is so slow to send me 'em. I cant believe it ! Thats incredible ! F*****g health system ! Awful way !
This year was made by some highs and some lows. One low never leaves me now but all the highs make me better all the year long. If i should speak about this year passed i dont know what i can write … If i should speak about the lows first i tell you that i didnt succeed at my final exams and my parents said me im not a great daughter about that. I probably mentioned this 'wonderful' way named « Friends » you know these persons who tells you that they will be everytime with you, everytime for you and who finally left you to another person. This year I had many bad nights with some nightmares. This year I still miss you like the other years again and again. This year I saw most doctors than the other years of my life but i'm not there to be sad. Im just there to speak about my point of vision of the world, of my life, of my illness. I know I was not a perfect friends this year for some of you but you know that I love you and i'll never forget you even if i'm so stupid ith you. I am so sorry. Sincerely. I hope you could forgive me one day for my bad actions.
This year my holidays were truly short but thats not a problem 'cause the best came after. I met some extraordinary & amazing persons, I saw some incredible concerts, I said to everyone who i am really, even if thats not ok for everybody. Seriously thats not my problem if you dislike the real me its your way not mine. I know who I am and for me its the better thing in a life. Be who you are really into your head, into your heart and never be afraid by the others. Never. I composed and covered many songs, updated many many tweets, created this blog too and played some great and awesome gig with the Adventys.
I'll never forget this year.
This year the world lost Michael Jackson, I love him, his music was my way when I was young but for me it's not the celebrity of the year. Sure, i'm so sad about his death that's terrible for the musical world. Few important personality make this year too. My books of this year are two books about Barack Obama, their speeches and “Dreams from my father.” 'cause the hopes is the better thing I can have now. To see him to become President of the United States of America was one such wonderful thing. I remember the day when I know him for the FIRST time. Three years ago, I was sick one day so I stayed at home and I watched Tv all the day long. It was a show about the young senator of the Illinois who wrote a book. I never found this book in France. Never. Hope I could read it one day. From this day I never forget his name, I feel some great things from him. He's President now and thats a such great thing ! Yes ! I love the United States ! Yes I love the Jonas Brothers and the Disney Stars ! Yes I'm sick ! And Yes your bad opinions about me make me better everyday even if sometimes they hurts me I love your criticizes.
“This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time – to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth – that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can’t, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people. Yes We Can.”
Barack Obama
“Your Victory”
- Election Night Victory Speech -
Nov. 4th 2008 -
“Your Victory”
- Election Night Victory Speech -
Nov. 4th 2008 -
Yes ! This blogpost dont have lyrics like the others but this one is special. It speaks about my life this year. My hope, my pain, my succeed and my failures. I conclue this blogpost quoting this person who give me many strength, many hopes and who learns me to NEVER give up.
“My approach to managing diabetes is to focus on simple wins — little things I can do each day to achieve my goals. Over time, these everyday victories can make a big difference in your life — just like every research advancement moves us along on our path to a cure. While on that path, I want to be a positive face for diabetes. I want to show kids with type 1 diabetes – like all the kids sitting with me today – that they can live with diabetes and still make their dreams come true. Thank you for the opportunity to appear before you today, and thank you for your commitment to diabetes research. With your help, a little bit longer and we will all be fine.”
Nick Jonas
at Washington DC before the Committee
the June 23th 2009
at Washington DC before the Committee
the June 23th 2009
Please my readers, I know im not a perfect person but if I could I wanna give you my strength to never give up 'cause you dont give up and be better even if the life and few many thing are against you. So dont give up, stay yourself & be the best. And never forget: A Little Bit Longer and We'll be Fine.
God Bless Each one of You.
Keep the faith and the faith will help you.
With all my love.
(L)ily.
20 déc. 2009
'You'll Change Inside When You Realize'
Wednesday, December 16th 2009 . 12pm
« It's Time. It's Today. It's now. Let's go. »
Thats my first tweet of the day.
Yes ! My countdown is finished. Im sit on a bed at the hospital since 8am this morning. Hard day in fact. Cold and sad for me. Im hungry and thirsty currently and I wanna sleep. My weakness is truly important. I wanna thanks all the person who didnt forget me today and send me some messages and tweets. Thank you for all your prayers for today. I'm not sure to deserve 'em but im really moved. Seriously you're the best with me. Thank You. Today I saw the person who're important for me 'cause they don't forget me.
Saturday, December 19th 2009
Currently I'm still waiting my results ... I don't know the answer, the verdict.
Yesterday night, I tweeting with two friends about a french girl who lies to many peoples ... I can't believe it ! How can she lies like that ? And why ? She just wanna met 'em... And these guys believe that she does everything just for us ... Okay that's not my main subject of the day. Last weekend I performed on stage with the Adventys haha awesome ! The some guys who was there loves Our new song :) that's amazing I'm so glad ! When I'm on stage and when I play music I can't explain why but I've the feeling to be better and stronger ! But btw after the last Adventys' gig I was so tired and weak =( this week I've more palpitations like the other latest weeks, I don't know why ... But I hate this feeling when I've my palpitations, I've the impression that my blood is into my body, my mind and get out of my heart.
My hear..., this heart who's feels so alone since one year ... I thought I found the thing to be better during many many years but finally just during some months but thanks my lost friend for these months ... this weekend was the first of my first holidays without you... I feel truly alone here at home. My car's expedition are not the same without you. The last time I saw you ? Last weekend. Before the Adventys' gig. Not after. Why ? 'Cause you was already far away into the city ... Far away from me like you erase me of your heart. I know you hate the person who you are. You think that you don't have a heart but I know it exist 'cause I lived with you during these funny and awesome months. I know you. Finally ... Its what I thought ... I'm still angry against you. But really not finally. 'Cause one day I said you: "I'll be always there for you." Future isn't behind me ... But please never forget:
'You'll Change
Inside
When You
Realize
The World Comes To Life
And Everythings For Eye
From Beginning To End
When You Have a Friend
By Your Side
That Helps You To Find
The Beauty Of All
When You'll Open Your Heart and
Believe in
The Gift of a Friend'
Inside
When You
Realize
The World Comes To Life
And Everythings For Eye
From Beginning To End
When You Have a Friend
By Your Side
That Helps You To Find
The Beauty Of All
When You'll Open Your Heart and
Believe in
The Gift of a Friend'
'Gift of a Friend' - Demi Lovato
I wanna thank you all who leaved many comments on my blogposts. I receive my e-mail on my phone and when I'm in class and I'm so sad 'cause I'm not a brilliant student, I repeat in my mind that my final exams are null for this year again, and I don't know if I'll success my life, sometimes during these moments I received an e-mail from my blog and I read your comments ... So i just wanna say you that I'm seriously so moved by all of 'em ! Thanks for your support ! Don't worry I'll never give up ! You're so amazing with me and I'm not sure to deserve everything. Maybe I repeat a thing I already said but I created this blog to help myself during my new everyday life, like a personal therapy.
I don't know how tomorrow will be but I'm sure of just one thing: I'll never give up and I'll continue.
I choose this picture to remember (...)
(...) that all dreams comes true (L)
7 déc. 2009
'When my world is falling apart'
'When I look at you
I see forgiveness, I see the truth
You love me for who I am like the stars
hold the moon
Right there where they belong and I know
I'm not alone'
I see forgiveness, I see the truth
You love me for who I am like the stars
hold the moon
Right there where they belong and I know
I'm not alone'
Currently it's 1:47 am when i start to write this blogpost and i cant sleep. This 'New' is truly hard for me. I dunno why you keep that secret. I know, we werent always in the same way and I disappointed you earlier. But Today, Tonight, I realize your place into my life. With you against me i never gave up. I always wanna be the best to show you im a great daughter ... of course im not the perfection that you want at school, i am SO sorry for that, but my way is musical. You shouted at me sometimes and you criticized me everytime but you're like that, and I certainly deserve it. I can forgot all the criticizes of everybody on me but YOURS are the worst. They tear my heart. How can you thing these things about me ? If its your way, im agree 'cause i cant go against your mind. But i never forget all these days when we laughed together, smiled and teased Mom. I know, you'll never read this post 'cause you dont understand this language but for me it's the best way. For me English is better than French to explain my feelings, hopes and pains. I've the impression to be more true. Maybe is just an impression i dunno.
First Me, after my Aunt and now You. God do you hate me or what ? I cant believe it .... This is a JOKE !? Why do you hate me like that ?
God please. Hear my prayers.
Maybe you punish me for something I did, right, im agree but please save 'em. Take me away. Just Me. Save 'em.
'Everybody needs inspiration
Everybody needs a song
Beautiful melody, when the nights so long'
Everybody needs a song
Beautiful melody, when the nights so long'
It's for this thing that my next song will be for You.
'Cause I know that you love these two photos
'Cause there is no guarantee
That this life is easy
When my world is falling apart,
when there is no light to break up the dark
That's when I look at you '
When my world is falling apart,
when there is no light to break up the dark
That's when I look at you '
'Cause for every young girls, they're the heroes of our life.
'Cause I Love You.
God Bless You.
From all my heart & with all my love.
Your Daughter, Lily.
All the Quotes are from: 'When i Look At You' - Miley Cyrus
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