'You'll Change Inside When You Realize'

Wednesday, December 16^th 2009 . 12pm

« It's Time. It's Today. It's now. Let's go. »

Thats my first tweet of the day.

Yes ! My countdown is finished. Im sit on a bed at the hospital since 8am this morning. Hard day in fact. Cold and sad for me. Im hungry and thirsty currently and I wanna sleep. My weakness is truly important. I wanna thanks all the person who didnt forget me today and send me some messages and tweets. Thank you for all your prayers for today. I'm not sure to deserve 'em but im really moved. Seriously you're the best with me. Thank You. Today I saw the person who're important for me 'cause they don't forget me.

Saturday, December 19^th 2009

Currently I'm still waiting my results ... I don't know the answer, the verdict.

Yesterday night, I tweeting with two friends about a french girl who lies to many peoples ... I can't believe it ! How can she lies like that ? And why ? She just wanna met 'em... And these guys believe that she does everything just for us ... Okay that's not my main subject of the day. Last weekend I performed on stage with the Adventys haha awesome ! The some guys who was there loves Our new song :) that's amazing I'm so glad ! When I'm on stage and when I play music I can't explain why but I've the feeling to be better and stronger ! But btw after the last Adventys' gig I was so tired and weak =( this week I've more palpitations like the other latest weeks, I don't know why ... But I hate this feeling when I've my palpitations, I've the impression that my blood is into my body, my mind and get out of my heart.

My hear..., this heart who's feels so alone since one year ... I thought I found the thing to be better during many many years but finally just during some months but thanks my lost friend for these months ... this weekend was the first of my first holidays without you... I feel truly alone here at home. My car's expedition are not the same without you. The last time I saw you ? Last weekend. Before the Adventys' gig. Not after. Why ? 'Cause you was already far away into the city ... Far away from me like you erase me of your heart. I know you hate the person who you are. You think that you don't have a heart but I know it exist 'cause I lived with you during these funny and awesome months. I know you. Finally ... Its what I thought ... I'm still angry against you. But really not finally. 'Cause one day I said you: "I'll be always there for you." Future isn't behind me ... But please never forget:

'You'll Change
Inside
When You
Realize
The World Comes To Life
And Everythings For Eye
From Beginning To End
When You Have a Friend
By Your Side
That Helps You To Find
The Beauty Of All
When You'll Open Your Heart and
Believe in
The Gift of a Friend'

'Gift of a Friend' - Demi Lovato

I wanna thank you all who leaved many comments on my blogposts. I receive my e-mail on my phone and when I'm in class and I'm so sad 'cause I'm not a brilliant student, I repeat in my mind that my final exams are null for this year again, and I don't know if I'll success my life, sometimes during these moments I received an e-mail from my blog and I read your comments ... So i just wanna say you that I'm seriously so moved by all of 'em ! Thanks for your support ! Don't worry I'll never give up ! You're so amazing with me and I'm not sure to deserve everything. Maybe I repeat a thing I already said but I created this blog to help myself during my new everyday life, like a personal therapy.

I don't know how tomorrow will be but I'm sure of just one thing: I'll never give up and I'll continue.

I choose this picture to remember (...)

(...) that all dreams comes true (L)